Bad Joke

harry2 · Post by **harry2** » Sun Mar 23, 2008 1:09 pm

Paddy the Irishman just got his second question right on who wants to be a millionaire, and is now on £200.

Here is the third question 'Who was the great train robber?'

RONNIE BIGGS

RONNIE PARKER

RONNIE BARKER

RONNIE CORBETT

Paddy says " well Chris I've had a lovely time but I'm going to take my £200 pound". Chris says "are you feckin' stupid, you have all lines your life lines left?"

Paddy says " I might be stupid, but I'm not a fckin' grass"

trayhop123 · Post by **trayhop123** » Sun Mar 23, 2008 1:24 pm

paddy orders a pizza.
the pizza man says your pizza ready m8 ,would you like me to cut it into 6 slices for you?
paddy says i'll never eat 6 slices to myself ,could you cut it into 4 please

trayhop123 · Post by **trayhop123** » Sun Mar 23, 2008 1:31 pm

paddy goes to a fortune teller, who tells him his lucky number is 5
so he catches the 5 oclock bus into town
walks in the bookies at 5.15
the race is at 5.55
the 5th horse is called fab five freddy
so he places £555 to win

came in 5th

Cardinal Sin · Post by **Cardinal Sin** » Mon Mar 24, 2008 11:58 pm

jonnyg323 wrote:Did you hear about the scarecrow who won the Nobel Prize?

He was outstanding in his field

Reminds me of the joke about the magic tractor. It went down the road and turned into a field.

And meanwhile...

An Irishman, a Jew, George Bush, the Pope and Ian Paisley walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"

...

ROSSKEEN · Post by **ROSSKEEN** » Tue Mar 25, 2008 12:23 pm

Why was the sand wet?

Because the seaweed.

Whats the difference between brocolli and pubic hair?

Nothing. You just push both to the side and keep on eating.

jonnyg323 · Post by **jonnyg323** » Wed Mar 26, 2008 12:15 am

Cardinal Richelieu wrote:
jonnyg323 wrote:Did you hear about the scarecrow who won the Nobel Prize?

He was outstanding in his field
Reminds me of the joke about the magic tractor. It went down the road and turned into a field.

...

nope...mine is far better.

mr lugsy · Post by **mr lugsy** » Wed Mar 26, 2008 9:47 pm

knock knock...............who's there?............. I eep !.............i eep who?!!!

Istenem · Post by **Istenem** » Wed Mar 26, 2008 10:51 pm

what is worse than finding a maggot in your apple

CrosbyRules · Post by **CrosbyRules** » Thu Mar 27, 2008 12:04 am

How do you make a tissue dance?

Put a boogie in it :P

jonnyg323 · Post by **jonnyg323** » Tue Apr 08, 2008 1:28 pm

Istenem wrote:what is worse than finding a maggot in your apple

Mass genocide...have heard various variations on that tho.

BUMP

Drpepper · Post by **Drpepper** » Tue Apr 08, 2008 2:52 pm

jonnyg323 wrote: Why does Noddy wear a bell on his hat?

Because he's a total and utter c**t

hahahaha.

geoff365 · Post by **geoff365** » Tue Apr 08, 2008 4:09 pm

Why have elephants got big ears?

Because noddy wouldn't pay the ransome.

poka · Post by **poka** » Wed Apr 09, 2008 5:07 am

what's the difference between light and hard ?

you can sleep with the light on

jonnyg323 · Post by **jonnyg323** » Fri Apr 11, 2008 2:52 am

Here's a very nice little poem / toast:

I drink to your health when we're together,
I drink to your health when I'm alone.
I drink to your health so often,
I've just about fucked my own!

Scott · Post by **Scott** » Wed May 28, 2008 11:12 am

Heard this yesterday and made me smile.

A man is walking through town and goes past a pet shop with a sign in the window saying ''Amsterdam cat for sale'' the man is puzzled by this having bred cats all his life and he has never heard of this breed, so he walks in the shop and up too the owner and says ''how Dutch is that moggy in the window''

made me laugh anyway

Fruit Machine Chat

Bad Joke

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