Machine switched off on you

thecannonball89 · Post by **thecannonball89** » Fri Oct 01, 2010 8:08 pm

Sir Rat i take it you mean the company empire then?

Had a flame pub here with a smash the cash, i went in and the lanlord lookd at the lanlady lookd at the fruit and nodded his head, she said what you on about and didnt do anyfin. 8 in for 105!

Next time i go in its the world cup, some pisshead is dancing around to some shit song on the jukebox he plugs the fruit as im at the bar and the music goes off, the whole pub go mad at him and then he says to me he has to turn the fruit off so people can watch the football, is he insane?

CrosbyRules · Post by **CrosbyRules** » Fri Oct 01, 2010 8:23 pm

went in a pub up pontefract last week, never been in, told to leave as I ask for a drink...righto

sir ratholer · Post by **sir ratholer** » Fri Oct 01, 2010 8:38 pm

Cannonball - Yeah the company empire.

Silent - funnily enough I'm still fine in there and made a ton on the dead
mans today :-)

quizard · Post by **quizard** » Fri Oct 01, 2010 9:14 pm

CrosbyRules wrote:went in a pub up pontefract last week, never been in, told to leave as I ask for a drink...righto

Which one was it?

Scott · Post by **Scott** » Fri Oct 01, 2010 11:36 pm

I had the machine turned off on me a few months back, nothing to unusual about that but it was whilst the jackpot music was playing, fuckin pissed off is an understatement, i went to the bar to complain and was told "it turns itself off if you win to much" if he wanted to bar me then fair enough, but to turn it off when the music is playing is naughty, i'd never been in this place in my life too, you either take it on the chin or belt the prick and get nicked.

Spyder · Post by **Spyder** » Sat Oct 02, 2010 12:03 am

i tipped a machine over years back.. barman turned it off from behind the bar, i stood a stool upside down with the legs in the air about 2 feet away and pushed the machine over onto it..

it was quite amusing to see the barmans face when he saw shattered glass and all the damage it caused.. FUCK EM, total pricks if they turn off a legit machine... summat like a keyable extreme or a full on empty, then fair enough, as it is semi-dodgy.. but summat you are just winning on because you know the game is different.

JG · Post by JG » Sat Oct 02, 2010 12:17 am

Yes that is the design flaw with fruit machines, they can be toppled over onto stools. Pity they don't have stools in service stations. They have chairs made out of super dense plutonium to stop Geoff Capes doing his swede and then picking up a chair and getting creative. However if there are any minis in the car park, then they're screwed.

To correct the design flaws, they need to follow this prototype. It's an almost solid metal box about 2 by 4 be 2 by 4 be 2 by 4 made out solid steel. There is a slot for coins and a slit for notes and a slut for good measure.

At random, a metal claw shoots out and grabs someone by the genitals. The objective is to feed in coins/notes at a rapid rate to become free once again. It'll help to neuter those with less money, thereby speeding up the process of Darwinism.

There will be only one machine more feared than my monstrosity. It will be called Rainbow Riches Pots of Gold £500. FOBT roulette is nearly as destructive as well.

Try and topple that over a stool Spyder and falsetto jackpot 'music' will be played to the whole pub.

This unit is currently on test in a couple of pubs in Evesham.

Scott · Post by **Scott** » Sat Oct 02, 2010 12:17 am

I saw it all unfolding around me, young lad behind the bar is frantically making phone calls the second i start playing, then the gaffer arrives and goes round the back, theres a camera pointing straight at the machine, obviously he's watching round the back, within 5 seconds of me getting jackpot theres a power cut, he then informs me he's got people coming from Derby, Notts, and Leics "emptying" his machine, i agree with you Spyder, its a fair cop if he plugs a Holy Grail on me, but for getting a legit jackpot is plain cuntish!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Glendale · Post by **Glendale** » Sat Oct 02, 2010 12:54 am

Whenever i get banned as i leave i always say " Dont worry mate, ill send turk in to do it" Poor sod still doesent know why he keeps getting banned!

Shaggerty · Post by **Shaggerty** » Sat Oct 02, 2010 2:54 am

[quote="Mr Move It"]

This one pub had an It's Amazing and a DOND, like the Crazy Chair but the board had inner boards with &#8593]

Big deal...
Not being sarcastic, that's what it's called. :-P

logopolis · Post by **logopolis** » Sat Oct 02, 2010 3:17 am

The last machine I had switched off (before we could play it) was a Cluedo. The other machine was Lets Play Darts and was still switched on. We had a board on that instead and started pretending we got jackpot on it with the happy actions etc. As we paid out the fiver or whatever, we chucked a big handful of coins into the tray which made a nice clatter. We made sure we took a minute or two to scoop our coins back up. Hopefully the landlord thought we just jacked that machine.

Captain.Tattybojangles · Sat Oct 02, 2010 3:42 am

Only had one machine off when I was in. A £5 reel good time lol

Turns out that me and family had arrived early. So I bought a Magners and drunk it, got another, enquired about the machine, they turned it on! :-)
Lost a tenner

betchrider · Post by **betchrider** » Sat Oct 02, 2010 7:40 am

A mate once put a stool through a fireball in the services

Spyder · Post by **Spyder** » Sat Oct 02, 2010 10:05 am

betchrider wrote:A mate once put a stool through a fireball in the services

eh? why? lol

anyone remember that youtube video from a nobles somewhere.. some granny trashing the original slotto after a week session and a £10,000 loss? lol

HornyNick · Post by **HornyNick** » Sat Oct 02, 2010 10:17 am

In all my years as a barman I have only ever turned a machine off on somebody once. I think I told the story on here ages ago. Basically we had this guy coming in almost every day, never buying a drink and winning on the machine alot. (DOND 4 reeler). When any of the girls approached him and asked him to buy a drink he got very abusive with them so they left him.
I only ever saw him once on my shift, he was walking across the road so I nipped out of the bar and went to turn the machine off. He walked in as I was doing it and something like "Whats going on?" I replied "Its's broken" and got back "Well whens it gonna be fixed"?, "about a minute after you leave." His face just dropped, he left and was never seen again!
I have never got shirty with anyone for winning wether they are complete strangers, or semi-regular or whatever, but he took the piss.

1st rule, always buy a drink. I couldnt care less wether it gets drunk or not. After all, just like you, we don't do this for fun.

2nd rule, if the bar staff are good to you, be good back. While I agree that there are asshole barstaff, the vast majority do not really care if you win. Stay on barstaffs good side and things are a lot less difficult. If you are friendly have a chat etc they will be less inclined to be shirty. I suppose I have been lucky in that my bosses have always had an understanding of how machines work, but most would ask our opinion of people before barring etc and that is where being "in" with staff is a massive help.

I have had a chat and laugh with loads of guys who come in just for the bandit and have never had a problem apart from that one fool.
The biggest problems I have are with a couple of regulars who play (badly). They give me grief for being friendly to the players and one of them thinks I should reserve the machine for him, but as I always say, you pays your money, you takes your chances.