What do you do when you get aggro in a pub???

deano8177 · Post by **deano8177** » Tue Oct 13, 2009 1:10 am

I find the best thing to do if you get kicked out for punting is getting there phone number and pissing them off and telling them your point. If they hang up, ring back, if they hang up again ring back again and so on. iv had them give in and say i can come back in as long a i get a drink ( but i do ne way). but shitting in a pint glass sounds like a good plan too.

jeffvickers · Post by **jeffvickers** » Tue Oct 13, 2009 2:15 am

Heard a rumour that a looter who found the note box bare, shit in the box for the collectors to have a nasty surprise

gmckee03 · Post by **gmckee03** » Tue Oct 13, 2009 2:55 am

thats some fuking homo stuff why would you go and shit in things you sickos? But i like it llf!

Shaggerty · Post by **Shaggerty** » Tue Oct 13, 2009 4:12 am

Correct me if I'm wrong, but a landlord/manager can barr you from the pub for any reason they choose, providing it isn't due to gender, race, religion, disabilty or nationality?

trayhop123 · Post by **trayhop123** » Tue Oct 13, 2009 7:45 am

sorry your all scum lol :P ,,,,,,,,,,, seriously couldn't lower myself to that level , ,,,,,,, ugghh a pint of shit please ?,,,,,,, ugghh

Scott · Post by **Scott** » Tue Oct 13, 2009 8:05 am

I've been served a pint of shit many times, ok, not literally, but it sure tastes like it

harry2 · Post by **harry2** » Tue Oct 13, 2009 9:29 am

Those dirty feckers that don't clean the lines.

betchrider · Post by **betchrider** » Tue Oct 13, 2009 7:41 pm

ming wrote:i had shit in a pint glass and left it in the pub... let them clean that up

Lol my mate did that once,had a shit in the glass in the bog,came out slammed it on the bar and said"Come on were leaving the beers shit in here!"

MrRed · Post by **MrRed** » Tue Oct 13, 2009 8:02 pm

LMFAO

deano8177 · Post by **deano8177** » Tue Oct 13, 2009 11:05 pm

I find it a lot easyer to just piss in the tray. It might be dirty but they fu**ing deserve it.

HorseRacingKing · Post by **HorseRacingKing** » Tue Oct 13, 2009 11:08 pm

I find it easier to just walk out the pub when asked, its called manners which some of you council boys are deprived off.

JG · Post by JG » Tue Oct 13, 2009 11:23 pm

Lol, you're on form this month Luke.

Serious note: If you're a sensible person, don't read what follows as it is so very silly.

Silly note: Are you not tempted, just a teensy weensy bit tempted to just have a very dainty poo on the floor before you leave?

I once got barred from three pubs in one day.

The first pub I got barred from for hitting excellent 11s on £70 Duff Beer Guide, apparently I was up to something and using magnets to get the 11 in line. This happened yesterday.
So the first one was messy. I picked up a pint glass and I'd had an all you can eat Indian buffet the night before. My gawd, I did not account for the continuity of my poo. Basically I had a huge poo about twice the height of the glass and then a second longish poo came out and that spilled over and landed on my hands and foot.

The second pub I got barred from as I had poo on my foot, so I couldn't play out the forty player Golden Game they had in there (it was in the extra long guest lounge suite - also I once spent £500 by checking each unit to see if it any were ready, they weren't, I had one nudge xxx and that was it.) On being barred I grabbed a shot glass (should have been renamed a shit glass) by mistake and pooed into that, but schoolboy error really, as all the poo landed on my other foot missing the glass completely.

The third pub I got barred from as I lost £100 on the 'DonD - Welcome to the studio!' playing £1.33 a spin (skill nudges and maxi bonii and horny phones in play plus when respin active hit the banker for the magic box)
So angry was I that I tried to do a poo, but there was no poo left and I just did an incredibly loud fart. I tried to repeat that for comic value and ended up giving myself an inguinal hernia (basically an Iguana shaped protrusion comes out your stomach).

I left, draped in poo and dragging my awfully shaped hernia across the pool table, deliberately leaving a trail of blood, poo and random bodily fluids wherever I staggerred. I think this caused some annoyance to the landlord.

In the end I just got bored of pooing onto things and into things and now I'm an investment banker who gives after dinner talks about pooing to bored clients. I also run NLP poo conferences for habitually constipated people.

What a load of poo I talk.

deano8177 · Post by **deano8177** » Tue Oct 13, 2009 11:23 pm

Manners? what do u mean manners. when they kick you out and are rude, manners go out the window. they get what they deserve.

thecannonball89 · Post by **thecannonball89** » Tue Oct 13, 2009 11:28 pm

A few years ago i was in a spoons at the age of 17,80 into a all red invincble manager comes over asks me to leave i say no. machine goes off, so i piss all over it..

JG · Post by JG » Tue Oct 13, 2009 11:29 pm

I've just received twenty six pms about that forty player Golden Game. I can't give out the location sorry. It can be costly, but once nearly every position was y'know, there...I cleared best part of a grand that day.
Anyway the top box rests over units 19,20 and 21. Say player two gets GG, the top box slides like a typewriter carriage over to the tops of 1,2,3 and the feature begins. There are five 48" plasma TVs located around the unit to provide coverage to the sport's fans and Doris in position 36. The audio is THX Lucassound Dolby prodynamic with a 7:1 arrangement and an extra sub in the cellar to create more atmosphere.