old women queuing at Wetherspoons for their 99p coffees...
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jeffvickers
- Senior Member
- Posts: 2069
- Joined: Wed Nov 08, 2006 12:05 pm
- Location: North of England
Was just queueing in local Weatherspoon's just the other day taking advantage of the buy 5, get 6th coffee free when some blazing squad chav tried to push in. He barged into old Hilda (you know the one that's just had a new hip put in) and she went crashing to the floor. Much mayhem ensued with doormen, ambulance staff and police everywhere with youth running off down Broad Street. From what I gather he was described as :- aged 17-19, five feet four inches tall, puffa jacker, wearing a pair of primark jeans hanging down over his tesco boxer shorts, with an imitation silver chain (Elizabeth Duke) and a baseball cap still with the label attached. Caucasian in appearance with terrible acne and yellow teeth. Possibly called Dwayne.
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thecannonball89
- Senior Member
- Posts: 4368
- Joined: Fri Jan 25, 2008 9:25 pm
- Location: dearam cafe
Well I am a Spoons coffee card collector also. I quite enjoy the glares from people waiting for beer while the guy/gal pisses about with the coffee machine. Especially if there is only one serving 
I also tried the afternoon special cod and chips tea bread and butter for £3. The fish looked as though it had been cooked some hours before and kept warm since. Anyone else tried this and had a good one?
I also tried the afternoon special cod and chips tea bread and butter for £3. The fish looked as though it had been cooked some hours before and kept warm since. Anyone else tried this and had a good one?
Bloomin' 'eck, them coffee machines. I'll tell you a quick story that isn't boasting at all.
We blooped into the Carsity and it was what? Eh? 2pm yeah. Cos. Oh jesus. someone Will probably; start a thread about his, <hic> I mean this sentence in the squiz forum.
She had physiotherapy due to a car accident caused by an immigrant in a van with no insurance. There you go. The machines in question were something called What monetary value is stored in your red branded cube? and Cash Arachnid.
I asked for a orange juice as I was driving ok? Alright. She wanted a choc hotolate.
The little white dial of dots illuminated temptingly. The three green arrows indicating that there was one green arrow inbetween another two green arrows outside of the green arrow on the inside illuminating in sequence, adjacently with the adjourning angles, hic, I mean arrows to indicate something or other.
<<Brrrrrrrurffffff>>
<<Funka funka funka funka wankabosh!>>
<<Fugga fugga fugga SWIRLswoosh>>
<<Ssssssssszzzzhhhh bubbly wubby hooover woooosh!!! click>>
<<Wabba wabba wabba clunk click tick......eeeeeeeeeek pink!>>
<<Tink. Pink. Mcflink. Vooooooooft! VROOOOOM!!! widdle waddle>>
<<Tink tink tink booom. Shake shake. Booom. VROOOOm. Swooosh>>
The clock ticked and tocked
<<Swirl. Click. Silence>>
Then he stirred the fookin' thing for about five minutes. I had nearly finished my juice.
So it was about 2:30. Bee Jesus we moight as well have gone doin Showboat Ted.##
No Dougal. We can empty this winstopper.
More juice fathers?
No Mrs. Doyle I'm off to empty the winstopper yee know.
Of course fathers.
BANG! ZIP! ZOOM! GOOD ONE! CRASH MC SPLASH and with some generous dials, numbers and yippedy ploopas, it was just over £150 off from hot chocka dropping down. I bet someone with a atool box or a tool from a tool box or a you know could not have umptied it so quick.
Tack tick, the clock ticked to 2:45. 15 minutes to drive 5 miles or so in rush hour traffic, negotiate an evil hospital car park and get to the right department.
One more board?
Yeah.
It was there. A 7, hi 11, lo 3........Give it a go.
?@@D 1! ....etc.....It;s a Jackpot.
"BOOOOOOOOOOOM!!" I yelled at the top of my lungs to disguise the £35 coins plopping out as the <NO NOTES ACCEPTED> bloop was firmly blooped on. Bit more than I'd wanted to go, but hell, Gamestec were starting to serve chips with their chips.
We legged it to the car. Meeeeoooowww. Vrooom. Through a carefully negotiated series of backstreets I skillfull booted it to arrove at the entrance to the network of par carks at 2:59 exactly.
By dodging through a series of barriers and crashing thorugh some annoying buses that were in the way and full of bloody ill people we got there. 3pm. Then I went down the 10bowl and think I won about £4 off something, came back picked her up and taht's the end of teh story.
Well the moral of the story is,
"It can take ages for the bar staff to conjure up hot beverages. If there is a queue (which there wasn't) or a p1 wiyb then please order lager. Thankyou - The management."
We blooped into the Carsity and it was what? Eh? 2pm yeah. Cos. Oh jesus. someone Will probably; start a thread about his, <hic> I mean this sentence in the squiz forum.
She had physiotherapy due to a car accident caused by an immigrant in a van with no insurance. There you go. The machines in question were something called What monetary value is stored in your red branded cube? and Cash Arachnid.
I asked for a orange juice as I was driving ok? Alright. She wanted a choc hotolate.
The little white dial of dots illuminated temptingly. The three green arrows indicating that there was one green arrow inbetween another two green arrows outside of the green arrow on the inside illuminating in sequence, adjacently with the adjourning angles, hic, I mean arrows to indicate something or other.
<<Brrrrrrrurffffff>>
<<Funka funka funka funka wankabosh!>>
<<Fugga fugga fugga SWIRLswoosh>>
<<Ssssssssszzzzhhhh bubbly wubby hooover woooosh!!! click>>
<<Wabba wabba wabba clunk click tick......eeeeeeeeeek pink!>>
<<Tink. Pink. Mcflink. Vooooooooft! VROOOOOM!!! widdle waddle>>
<<Tink tink tink booom. Shake shake. Booom. VROOOOm. Swooosh>>
The clock ticked and tocked
<<Swirl. Click. Silence>>
Then he stirred the fookin' thing for about five minutes. I had nearly finished my juice.
So it was about 2:30. Bee Jesus we moight as well have gone doin Showboat Ted.##
No Dougal. We can empty this winstopper.
More juice fathers?
No Mrs. Doyle I'm off to empty the winstopper yee know.
Of course fathers.
BANG! ZIP! ZOOM! GOOD ONE! CRASH MC SPLASH and with some generous dials, numbers and yippedy ploopas, it was just over £150 off from hot chocka dropping down. I bet someone with a atool box or a tool from a tool box or a you know could not have umptied it so quick.
Tack tick, the clock ticked to 2:45. 15 minutes to drive 5 miles or so in rush hour traffic, negotiate an evil hospital car park and get to the right department.
One more board?
Yeah.
It was there. A 7, hi 11, lo 3........Give it a go.
?@@D 1! ....etc.....It;s a Jackpot.
"BOOOOOOOOOOOM!!" I yelled at the top of my lungs to disguise the £35 coins plopping out as the <NO NOTES ACCEPTED> bloop was firmly blooped on. Bit more than I'd wanted to go, but hell, Gamestec were starting to serve chips with their chips.
We legged it to the car. Meeeeoooowww. Vrooom. Through a carefully negotiated series of backstreets I skillfull booted it to arrove at the entrance to the network of par carks at 2:59 exactly.
By dodging through a series of barriers and crashing thorugh some annoying buses that were in the way and full of bloody ill people we got there. 3pm. Then I went down the 10bowl and think I won about £4 off something, came back picked her up and taht's the end of teh story.
Well the moral of the story is,
"It can take ages for the bar staff to conjure up hot beverages. If there is a queue (which there wasn't) or a p1 wiyb then please order lager. Thankyou - The management."