Phrases And Sayings
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Matt Vinyl
- Senior Member
- Posts: 7198
- Joined: Wed May 11, 2005 6:56 pm
- Location: Lost in the outback, Bryan
You devil, you!harry2 wrote:I can personally guarantee number 8.cashino wrote:http://www.freewebz.com/simonsays/stories.htm
I found these yesterday, quite hysterical some of them, I wonder which ones (if any) are actually genuine??
The only one that I can certainly say I believe to be contrived is the illiterate bloke with the addicted mother who starved to death. I hope.
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Cardinal Sin
- Senior Member
- Posts: 4166
- Joined: Wed Jul 20, 2005 3:33 pm
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Guest
"£1 in full"
"Shutter" (personal favourite for 'full')
"Hatch"
"Clacket" (GG there first nudge down)
"Absolute f*cking rip!"
"Total Joke"
"Absolute Disgrace" (As bad as it gets!)
"It's just totally f*cked!" (not playing as well as hoped)
"Smashed it to bits" (a rather pleasing result...used when obtaining a 105
from a 'mummy' first board)
"Going to put a chair through it in a minute"
"It's a f*cking chair job!" (see above)
"Fancy a chase?" / "Get involved?"
"Nudge rip is on!" / "PICK is on" / "STNW is on" etc.
"Pots lliks repus" (super skill stop)
"you might as well mightn't you fruit!" (bitched on a 2 when 100 into a red)
"Yep, happens all the time!" (sarcastic when seeing a muter get a massive result from something shite)
"General Play" (as in "might be worth a look, prob gets a lot of general play")
"I've never seen nothing like it" (extremely bad result)
"not programmed" / "don't do that"
"Going from one extreme to another" (useful if you can find a pub where this is possible)
"Extremeists" (People who play Extremes)
"Islamic Extremeists" (Self explanatory)
"Doing Swede" (Getting battered)
"Recyclists" (as in "no point waiting around, they're recyclists, they'll be here all night)
......TBC (when I can be bothered!)
"Shutter" (personal favourite for 'full')
"Hatch"
"Clacket" (GG there first nudge down)
"Absolute f*cking rip!"
"Total Joke"
"Absolute Disgrace" (As bad as it gets!)
"It's just totally f*cked!" (not playing as well as hoped)
"Smashed it to bits" (a rather pleasing result...used when obtaining a 105
from a 'mummy' first board)
"Going to put a chair through it in a minute"
"It's a f*cking chair job!" (see above)
"Fancy a chase?" / "Get involved?"
"Nudge rip is on!" / "PICK is on" / "STNW is on" etc.
"Pots lliks repus" (super skill stop)
"you might as well mightn't you fruit!" (bitched on a 2 when 100 into a red)
"Yep, happens all the time!" (sarcastic when seeing a muter get a massive result from something shite)
"General Play" (as in "might be worth a look, prob gets a lot of general play")
"I've never seen nothing like it" (extremely bad result)
"not programmed" / "don't do that"
"Going from one extreme to another" (useful if you can find a pub where this is possible)
"Extremeists" (People who play Extremes)
"Islamic Extremeists" (Self explanatory)
"Doing Swede" (Getting battered)
"Recyclists" (as in "no point waiting around, they're recyclists, they'll be here all night)
......TBC (when I can be bothered!)
I love this thread 
Does anyone else start talking to themselves and getting all sarcy with the machine when you get a bit involved? Show Me The Mummy seems to bring out my sarcastic streak, especially when you get a £15 nudge win, Open tomb, higher than a 3/2 or lower than 10/11. Really gets me going! :P
Does anyone else start talking to themselves and getting all sarcy with the machine when you get a bit involved? Show Me The Mummy seems to bring out my sarcastic streak, especially when you get a £15 nudge win, Open tomb, higher than a 3/2 or lower than 10/11. Really gets me going! :P
"Sixty percent of the time, it works, every time!"
Yeah.....who are the button bashers the thumpers, the thudders who bash and whack and swear when the going gets hairy?
Who plays totally calm when £200 into a full showing machine that has now decided to kill you at the earliest and meanest opportunity thrice in a row?
Who plays the emulator and pretends to get pissed off when a machine plays up!? I know I do - is that a sign of mental illness?
Who plays totally calm when £200 into a full showing machine that has now decided to kill you at the earliest and meanest opportunity thrice in a row?
Who plays the emulator and pretends to get pissed off when a machine plays up!? I know I do - is that a sign of mental illness?
Re: Love this one....
I can confirm that the above was the work of my good self!cashino wrote:STORY #7 FROM 'Super Streaker' (A PLAYER SOMEWHERE IN THE U.K.)
I went down to my KING KEBAB shop last nite, cos I had MONEY MONEY MONEY.
I thought I was in for a LOTTA LUCK cos this stunner in a RED WHITE & BLUE mini skirt came up to me and said, do you mind if I SPIN ON IT?, acting on IMPULSE I said god you're a CRACKER.
My nob was on RED ALERT as I took her back to mar car. I could of been AUSTIN POWERS as we shagged in a FRENZY. She said I had BALLS OF STEEL as I unleashed my FRUIT EXPLOSION.
I said I would give her a lift home, but warned her I was a bit of a ROAD HOG. Unfortunately we had a WIPEOUT, ao we had to go home ON THE BUSSES!!
We got back to her place and she NUDGE, NUDGE, WINK WINKED me and said are you READY TO ROCK again? LET THE GOOD TIMES ROLL I replied, so she grabbed my TUBULAR BELL and went to work.
I must of upset her though, cos her BIG BROTHER came out and chased me AROUND THE TOWN!! I lost him though, so it really was a GREAT ESCAPE. I hope she's not pregnant though, as I would never find a suitable CODFATHER!!
What a night. I looked up to god and said MAXAMILLION!!
A great story I'm sure you will all agree!!!
SIMON SAYS:
A LIKELY STORY! Probably reflects the ROLLERCOASTER life of a player. I've had a FLASHBACK or two myself, from when I used to drive around in my THUNDERBIRD, despite my ANDY CAPP, HEYPRESTO, a few ladies felt my RED HOT POKER!
SIMON
There are a few others around somewhere as well.
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fruitofthegods
- Senior Member
- Posts: 160
- Joined: Tue May 31, 2005 5:25 pm
Re: Love this one....
PMK wrote:I can confirm that the above was the work of my good self!cashino wrote:STORY #7 FROM 'Super Streaker' (A PLAYER SOMEWHERE IN THE U.K.)
I went down to my KING KEBAB shop last nite, cos I had MONEY MONEY MONEY.
I thought I was in for a LOTTA LUCK cos this stunner in a RED WHITE & BLUE mini skirt came up to me and said, do you mind if I SPIN ON IT?, acting on IMPULSE I said god you're a CRACKER.
My nob was on RED ALERT as I took her back to mar car. I could of been AUSTIN POWERS as we shagged in a FRENZY. She said I had BALLS OF STEEL as I unleashed my FRUIT EXPLOSION.
I said I would give her a lift home, but warned her I was a bit of a ROAD HOG. Unfortunately we had a WIPEOUT, ao we had to go home ON THE BUSSES!!
We got back to her place and she NUDGE, NUDGE, WINK WINKED me and said are you READY TO ROCK again? LET THE GOOD TIMES ROLL I replied, so she grabbed my TUBULAR BELL and went to work.
I must of upset her though, cos her BIG BROTHER came out and chased me AROUND THE TOWN!! I lost him though, so it really was a GREAT ESCAPE. I hope she's not pregnant though, as I would never find a suitable CODFATHER!!
What a night. I looked up to god and said MAXAMILLION!!
A great story I'm sure you will all agree!!!
SIMON SAYS:
A LIKELY STORY! Probably reflects the ROLLERCOASTER life of a player. I've had a FLASHBACK or two myself, from when I used to drive around in my THUNDERBIRD, despite my ANDY CAPP, HEYPRESTO, a few ladies felt my RED HOT POKER!
SIMON
There are a few others around somewhere as well.
THIS is the classic in my opinion, of all those 'stories'!
Great post, bit of poetic licence with 'codfather' , witty reply in kind.
Even contains the great BFM classic of all time, the heypresto machine which only I seem to remember.
SUPER!
Coining up - putting some pound coins into a machine
Coining - as above
Loading up - coining up some pound coins that will not be seen again
Loader - (derog) an individual who has foolishly spent their beer money on the slots
Somerfield Loader - the halfwits from the supermarket next door who come in in uniform to load up their £3.40/hour wages in ten minutes flat
Shark - someone hoping that you will lose and walk
Watcher - a shark who doesn't feel the need for a newspaper as a decoy
Kill it - take a £2 win off a board that is capped at £2 (after taking a decent win earlier)
Goodwill - the several pound coins shared between friends after a jackpot/large win is achieved
Coining - as above
Loading up - coining up some pound coins that will not be seen again
Loader - (derog) an individual who has foolishly spent their beer money on the slots
Somerfield Loader - the halfwits from the supermarket next door who come in in uniform to load up their £3.40/hour wages in ten minutes flat
Shark - someone hoping that you will lose and walk
Watcher - a shark who doesn't feel the need for a newspaper as a decoy
Kill it - take a £2 win off a board that is capped at £2 (after taking a decent win earlier)
Goodwill - the several pound coins shared between friends after a jackpot/large win is achieved