Fruit Machine Chat

Well, this game is supposed to be 88% payout, and compensated in Coventry arcade. I put just shy of £500 in it on £1 play, was given the feature a grand total of once for £69.60, and other than that not once did i get a win over £20. There are no repeating features, no streaks, no way on god's earth of winning any money out of it. Its awful - as is Top Trumps Hammer Horror House Of Horrors Hammer Horrible.

Whats happened? Barcrest have become utter, utter shit overnight. Have they suddenly sacked everyone who's ever made a good game?!!!

It's all those yanks at IGT that have ruined Barcrest. Maybe their UK MD Robert White could answer a few questions.

yeah I looked at that neptune's treasure, but as there was no way to win more than £70 I didn't give it a go.

Sounds like that rainbow riches £250 I played that was "supposedly" compensated, must run over a bloody long cycle.

ob wrote:yeah I looked at that neptune's treasure, but as there was no way to win more than £70 I didn't give it a go.

Sounds like that rainbow riches £250 I played that was "supposedly" compensated, must run over a bloody long cycle.

The £250 must be at the end of the rainbow !

It took you £500 to realise it was a shit machine......why did you put so much into a £70 jackpot machine?

I'm sure Barry had his reasons.

Agreed, Barcrest's new stuff is, by and large, complete bollocks. Hammer Horror is the one that caught me out, feck knows how Ob got a jackpot after £70. The trouble with all this, is that games that claim to be random, blatantly are compensated. Yes there may be random elements, but although I can't elaborate, it's plain to see what bollocks these games really are for many people. 100% random is a claim that companies can make with IGNORANCE and FLIPPANCY.

You pay 25p a spin (minimum) and after twenty losing spins you get a 20p win. Woooo! Fan-fuc*ing-tastic. Whoopety Bloopety wan*ety woo!
Wa*k a wil*y wa/k a woo. Sorry, thought I was on Arcadia there.

I hardly see them get played, but then hardly anything gets played bar that Project merlin thing and the stupid cock-a-doodle-dough cms guff which seems insanely popular for some reason.

I seriously think that Barcrest have arsed up the maths and when the time is right I'll pull them up about this. They'll probably ignore email correspondence, which'll mean I'll have to travel up to Ashton-Upon-Lyne or wherever they're based.

If they refuse to see me, I'll just break into their offices SAS style like that John Mack. Tap tap SMASH! BASH! I'll put the windows through and come sailing in TAP! TAP! SMASH! BOOM! SMASH! RANDOM VANDALISM! KERBOOM! JG HERE!

Some secretary bird will say 'look you haven't got an appointment' and I'll say 'LOOK! I'm JG! I'm a FRUIT CHAT MODERATOR. I don't need a f***ing appointment. STAND ASIDE.'

Then the IGT MD will see me down the long corridor and I'll bellow

"AHA! JG HERE! STOP! IN THE NAME OF THE 4 DINGING REEL KING!"

The security will come out of doors on the side. It'll be like TIME CRISIS.
Cor. Happy days. Days spent in Corley services playing that Vamp and you had 'TIME CRISIS' beep beep beep playing in the background and of course it was on PS2 but sometimes it was tempting to play on the big screen. Video games stayed in services until really late in the day didn't they when you think about it?

Anyway the black suited security guys pop out the side doors and I'm like tap, tap, bang, dead as I chase the MD down the corridor. He jumps out a window onto a power boat. SMASH! VROOOM! and I have to slide down the bannisters, I kick the door in, after shooting the lock out and I'm on a HOVER BIKE. SPLASH! VROOM! I'm skiddooing along the water and his top boy henchmen are shooting at us with semi automatic assault rifles, but I've got body armour and grenades and I'm like TAP! BANG! BOOOM! SWOOSH! A RATTATATATTATATATA BOOOM! BAFF! BOOOOOM! BOOOOM! KERSPLONK! RATATATATTATATATATTATATATAT! BOOOOOOOM! You didn't ANSWER MY EMAIL YOU SUCK UP IGNORANT GIT.

"Oh sorry, didn't I answer your email?"

"No."

"Oh, I do apologise, let's go back to the offfice now and discuss it over a cup of Earl grey or maybe a Choco-latte-skinny-frothocinno."

Then he'll listen and he'll say....oooh JG you know so much about how to design good machines. I'll say yes, I have something so addictive I dare not release it, but it'll make FOBT look like brussel sprouts that taste of marmite. He'll go WOW! Amazing. You've saved the Industry. There'll be a little something for pros, clueys will love 'em and everyone lives happily ever after.

THE END

i saw that neptunes at the show ,amg reps were all over me with their spiel,"looks too blue if you ask me" is what i told them.hope you put that 500 down to expenses Barry

JG, you been watching too many James Bond films!!

OT: Ah, the days of W*nk a W*lly Woo and Scouser Ste and Justin' Credible and The Spider and, and, and...

Back on topic: Painful stuff, Barry. I've not played any of Barcrests non-hi tech stuff (at least not knowingly!) as it just doesn't appeal to me. But even their hi-tech stuff is going down the slope pretty fast. Amazing really, as surely they are in the same 'room' as Red?!

I played this 5 liner on a Ladbrokes FOBT and it gave a £6x.xx feature on 20p play after about ten spins .Gave 5 "shells" (scatters).

Must be a Laddy's modified version. 5 shells = jackpot on the one I saw. Anyway, £2 in for that, not so shabby.

Matt Vinyl wrote:OT: Ah, the days of W*nk a W*lly Woo and Scouser Ste and Justin' Credible and The Spider and, and, and... ]Back on topic:[/b] Painful stuff, Barry. I've not played any of Barcrests non-hi tech stuff (at least not knowingly!) as it just doesn't appeal to me. But even their hi-tech stuff is going down the slope pretty fast. Amazing really, as surely they are in the same 'room' as Red?!

scouser ste? justincredible and the spider??? you mean me?

do you remember assasin?? KILL - KILL - KILL