Fruit Machine Chat

Hello. I am annoyed by the constant forced wins on this zero armed bandit that has appeared in a very local, incredibly hot pub for local people.
I am a member of TSAFWOZABTYDWTTAICSTMB (The Society against forced wins on zero armed bandits that you don't want to take as it constantly sets the machine back). There are currently two members of this organisation. The other member is a chap who is an affiliate of TSASLUATCBRWFLITOCWSS (The Society against stupidly long unnecessary acronymns that could be replaced with fewer letters if the original cause was shortened slightly)

Anyway, despite the mega heat, my society missives indicate I must religiously plug every pointless 50p, £2, £4 win etc. This is what I do with gusto. Alas the landlord is quite an objectionable chap who keeps moaning I am up to something as I am switching the fruit machine off every 5 seconds (I play on £1 stake) and whilst I am waiting for it to boot up I chew through beer mats to get through the unbearable nervous tension.

To date I have chewed through 25,372 beer mats and am yet to get a £70 box, where am I going right?

UPDATE: AS of today, the landlord has installed PLUG-GUARD TM which is a metal guaze guard that is chemically sealed into the wall and prevents unauthorised plugging of AWPs. However I have a narrow guage drawing pin that will be fit for purpose. The battle continues.

UPDATE: I have just come out of complex ilio-gastro bypass surgery. A sudden electric shock and a back passage blockage made up of chewed and partially digested beer mats......ok....ok....ok.....yeah it's drivel.......I'm going to bed. After searching for a plastic tipped narrow guage poking device on Amazon.

Easier to pull lead out of back eh George lol