Fruit Machine Chat

Can be found everywhere from second hand shoe shops to public houses

How do you deal with them? Some people ring them up and swear at them. You can't charm them, they're charmless. Try being rude to them, you just get even more attitude back. Be polite, they walk all over you. You can't reason with them and when you've got Mick the Truth, the biggest liar in Houventry stirring it up, you haven't got a chance.
I think if you can't avoid them, then swearing at them helps you to feel better.

"well after you switched it off on my fourth mate, I sent my fifth, six and seventh mates in to order complicated and unnecessary cocktails that don't exist and whilst you were stuffing a mint imperial into a buffalo tomato infused with Advocat that you had to buy last minute from Tesco Express, my eighth mate got the cashpot flicker and I just wanted you to know that"

Haha... Stuffing a mint imperial in a Buffalo tomato!