Fruit Machine Chat

HeyI am applying for DOND and I have to write a 4 page poem about DOND. Just thought i'd see if people had any ideas.

I've got two line but i'm working on the rest.

4 page poem?
have a word with yourself.

dond what shall i do
take the winstopper or lower than 2



thats 2 more lines for ya

but think they will think your a nutcase and not know what ya talking about.

4 page poem ... shall we accept this guy as a contestant?.....


No deal.

sorry 4 line poem

you'd think that a professional guy with his swede plastered on thousands of machines might have an inkling of what he's endorsing.
if you could possibly manage to get on the show and drop loads of subtle dond speak in, it would sail right over him lol

Deal or no deal, what shall I do?
Who gives a flying f*ck coz the show is poo,
West wing on the left, East wing on the right,
Noel Edmonds in the middle, chatting constant shite!

Seriously though, the show can't actually be in need of contestants, can it?

yep easy money if you get on

Roses are red
violets are blue
i wanna kick fuck out of noel edmonds
and so do you

dond is fun the descissions are tricky,
most of the contestants are retards with the ocassional fitty,
i like to remove all of the blues one by one,
some think im mad others dumb

What's in this box? It's big and red
My name's Fred, your name is Ted.
Make sure you only leave red
and then the Banker will be seeing red.
Time for bed.
Said Fred.
As the bread,
hit him like a lump of lead.
I'm dead
said Fred.
I got hit by bread.
'tis why I'm dead.

Deal or no deal your way to the money
Like a bee eating some honey
You need the money
Not being funny,
but give me the money
Money money money

no-el edmonds is his name,
red and blue boxes is the game,
keep the red's and shift the blue,
or else your offer will be poo.

in between the banker's offers,
the ones you hope will fill the coffers,
the beard will ramble on and on,
for sure his san-ity is gone.

east wing,west wing,crazy chair,
the one who's got the blowdried hair,
bakerlite phones and the power fives,
these days are the best days of your lives.

so when the final curtain falls,
and that banker has you by the balls,
fear not the penny box today,
for you shall bag two- fifty- K.


(c). earomol 2008

think mine was the best

lower than a 2 higher than a 1
take that stopper and hit that shit
if you miss then your a piss flap
retarded noel shagging the banker
whos the mong on east wing his brain hurts

A little poem about my loss in Wetherspoons on Tuesday


Every release is getting gayer and gayer
You will loose all your money if your not a player
Avergae joe does not have a clue
cos your machines are close to IOU

I was in spoons other day
wasted a good chunk of my pay
Cos i had been drinking i was off my head
shot loads of notes into big red

The big loss left me angry and choking
then i got shot out for cigarette smoking
Didnt care as it saved some money
Then i heared rumbles from my tummy

Got a 1/2lb burger with salad and garlic
whilst still thinking christ ive been a dick
Eating my food made me feel slightly happier
But in the morning ill be feeling even crappier

You sold your soul to the cunts Bellfruit
Whos machines i wanna fucking shoot
Now let me on your show you wanker
so i can beat that twat the banker

NOEL IS GOD

PLAYERS ARE GAY

GOT NO LIFE PROSPECTS

SO THEY TOUCH NOELS BUTTONS ALL DAY