worst toilets

eddiesdad · Post by **eddiesdad** » Sat Dec 01, 2012 11:10 pm

dont flame me if this has been done before but after hearing about the poor guy who lay dead in a corals toilet for 5 days, has any one seen/heard anything worse in the bookies bogs?

Scott · Post by **Scott** » Sat Dec 01, 2012 11:23 pm

See trainspotting!

quizard · Post by **quizard** » Sat Dec 01, 2012 11:55 pm

Ex Tote shops now Betfred are the worst of any of the large chains. Years of zero investment. A real star buy Fred.

Noels Beard · Post by **Noels Beard** » Sat Dec 01, 2012 11:59 pm

I'm constantly shocked and disappointed at the quality of toilets in pubs and bookies. There are so many simple things that the staff feel men do not need when using a toilet.

Firstly, soap seems to be a luxury product in many of the toilets I visit; as is hot running water. If these consumables are available, they're often dispensed in the most random and annoying fashion. How many of us have struggled with the mystery of the self-cancelling tap? No plug (presumably for fear of flooding), and as soon as you release pressure the water stops. How are you supposed to wash your hands in this situation? And so it begins, a strange elbow sparring affair where you attempt to contort your digits under the dribble (or tsunami) you've created. Pubs have special temperature settings for their taps, they are the same ones used in the shower controls in the old style tap driven Travelodge showers. No amount of sliding scale or delicate dialling can register any other temperature than Absolute Zero, or if that's a bit nippy - a searing Quark-Gluon Plasma.

Then there are the toilets themselves. Well, for the most part, we're not that fussed. My shoes are well soled, and wading through puddles of piss is a fine metaphor for a day out playing fruits anyway. However, I'm not so organised as to plan my defecations weeks in advance, so when I need to go... I need to go. Now this can be a real problem. Often out of maybe four cubicles, maybe only one is in service. It would seem that maintains a functioning door on a toilet cubicle is beyond the capabilities of most Wetherspoons/Spirit/Marstons...management. Yes...I know people do drugs in toilets, I know people fuck in toilets; wank; read the paper...whatever...but surely there is no need to disable the door on a permanent basis? Why not have those locks you can open from the outside? It's hugely annoying to have to crap with a foot held against the door, to stop it slowly creaking open and exposing you mid-turd. Toilet seats as well, seem to be optional. I mean....how the hell do these go missing? And when they do, what makes the staff presume that us guys can make-do without?

Well I'll tell you, it's because guys won't complain about stuff like this like girls do. I've been in girls toilets, and whilst they're not the powder-room affairs they're romanticised as being, they have doors and toilet seats. Is it any wonder I piss in 777 cabinets? I think not.

Scott · Post by **Scott** » Sun Dec 02, 2012 12:42 am

Good anology!

trayhop123 · Post by **trayhop123** » Mon Dec 03, 2012 4:43 pm

but what if your on an all dayer george ,,,,,,,,,,, you take a dump at 7am

then i pick u up ,,,,,,,, which automatically means a spoons breakfast wrap , followd by a greggs snacky pasty thing around 2pm ,,,,,,,,then usually around 7pm a large spoons steak mixed grill meal ,,,,,,,,,,,,,, then after last pub a 2quid box of finest london taliban chicken ,,,,,,,,,, then overpriced wank services farye ,,,,,,, for me to drop u back in hov at 3am ???? ,,,,,,,,,,,, with no extra turding ??? ,,,,,, hmm?????

mr lugsy · Post by **mr lugsy** » Mon Dec 03, 2012 5:36 pm

most of it probably goes into the streak pot

trayhop123 · Post by **trayhop123** » Mon Dec 03, 2012 5:44 pm

lol ,,,,,,, yeah he dont go for days ,,,,,,,, then lets it all flow out at some lucky granny's house

BFK · Post by **BFK** » Mon Dec 03, 2012 5:58 pm

About 4 a day me.

Can't possibly plan a day around my dumps, go when I need to, always carry emergency wet wipes and crapper paper in car. Have to use a wet wipe for extra cleanliness.

BFK · Post by **BFK** » Wed Dec 05, 2012 7:51 am

I would imagine its poor diet, to much watered down shitty lager and not the right food.

I noticed when I tried a diet which lasted about a week I was immediately down to 1/2 a day or through a bout of illness which lasted about 3 weeks where I was barely able to eat I was down to 1.

After a heavy session and a ruby 3/4 dumps by 10 am is Tom Jones

AMK · Post by **AMK** » Wed Dec 05, 2012 12:05 pm

I like the toilets in Bonanza 2000 in Cardiff.

It states THERE ARE NO PIBLIC TOILETS ON THESE PREMISES.

Mega Hint: they're on the left through the small door. Careful as its easy to walk into the ladies toilets at this point. Make sure you fully concentrate.

There's something satisfying about having a really smelly messy poo when you've done plums and leaving it for the staff to address.

Ruler of The World · Post by **Ruler of The World** » Wed Dec 05, 2012 10:18 pm

I think we should go further on this topic and photograph dirty toilets with our mobile phones. Sadly, I won't be contributing since I have a REAL mobile phone - ie. a PHONE not an all in 1 smartphone. I refuse to use iphones or any android rubbish, I got my phone for £20 and that's all I need - battery literally lasts for days.

Anyway, enough about phones, get those photos in!

A time I will never forget... when £15 jackpots 1st arrived, William Hill on Harrow High Street had Up And Over and Powerspin as their very 1st ones... I was playing in there one day and suddenly was shocked by the 'fragrance' of turd... it was very strong, I started looking around for the culprit so I could have a go at him for being a dirty cunt. I saw no one who looked or smelt guilty until I looked at some old bloke swiftly exiting the shop! I still didn't get why the smell was so intense! I carried on with my 'work' and then I needed a wee so I went to the toilet - what a STENCH! I walked in and saw smudged turd all over the floor! Then I rushed out without even doing my wee as it stank THAT bad and was walking towards the counter when I realised WHY it was so smelly even OUTSIDE the toilet... it was smudged all over the floor!!!! How this fucker did this I will never understand but somehow the bloke has just crapped all over the shop and run off! The staff were understandably horrified - I certainly didn't envy them...

Noels Beard · Post by **Noels Beard** » Wed Dec 05, 2012 11:17 pm

I once had a job at McDonald's. McDonald's Longwater, outskirts of Norwich. I used to do the kids parties. I also used to clean the toilets. Someone once left a man- sized poo on the floor of the main gents toilet, not even using the cubicle. It filled a super-size cup.

Scott · Post by **Scott** » Wed Dec 05, 2012 11:27 pm

Some peoples toilet etiquette is truly shocking, don't piss on the seat and don't shit on the floor, not hard is it?

Noels Beard · Post by **Noels Beard** » Wed Dec 05, 2012 11:41 pm

You see...I kind of admired the audacity of it. Defecation is one of our final taboos, along with paedophilia. Nice to see someone pushing the boundaries. Ideally it would be a disabled black women (in the disabled toilets obviously) defecating over an infant. Now once you've learnt to accept that, you really have nowhere left to go.