Fruit Machine Chat

If this is my last ever post it is because i have decided to play the recently installed machine in the argyll bar in glasgow and i have been killed.
To the uninitaiated this is a pub under central station that is heavily dedicated to the glory of glasgow rangers.now you would rightly imagine this is hardly an uncommon theme in glasgow but believe me this place is about the scariest pub i've ever come across and in the pursuit of trivia i've been in some places i really shouldn't have been.
But then again i'm sure you all have..........

just don't be wearing any green

We (drunkenly) decided last night that if there were 4 foxy's in that pub that we'd buy rangers tops as cover, the mere thought of which sends me into a cold sweat in the sober dawn of reality this morning.Still Stevens intended finale of removing aforementioned tops and burning them at the door as we made for our getaway train would have made for an interesting afternoon

I don't think even the Argyll can be as terrifying as Dow's on karaoke night, or Yates' just about any night.

After a few hours of celebration on Helicopter Sunday we headed into O'Neills on Sauchiehall Street, which had only been showing the Celtic game that day. In amongst the tipped over tables, smashed glass and crack on one of the flatscreens, we won £1 on some crap game and celebrated as if we had just won the League.

Have you been in the argyll bar vidmar? (pre or post machine?)

I've been in it many moons ago and it was a hellhole.

I understand it has been taken over but remains much the same. Lauders is about as 'rough' as I go in pursuit of quiz machine glory.

my slang for looking for swp's in pubs is nimroding. I was nimroding in Bristol when I came across a pub in central Bristol called the Griffin. There was no way of looking in due to curtains so I opened the door and walked in. I was confronted by at least 20 village people lookalikes resplendent in moustaches and the barmaid, a term I use lightly and incorrectly was a double of Lily Savage (except not as pretty)complete with bouffant wig and nail extensions. I downed a coke in approximately 1sec made my excuses and left at high speed.Avoid at all costs (unless you are that way inclined) and no it didnt have a machine!

which leads me to how to spot a gay pub
(1) Rainbow flag
(2) almost exclusively one sex or the other inhabits the pub
(3) landlady is physically intimidating mush bird with crew cut & doc martins
(4) overhead conversation between customers almost exclusively concerns 'shagging'
(5) the jukebox consists entirely of high energy pap
(6) various newspapers around such as pink
(7) extra strong condoms available in toilets
(8) spot a tranny and we are not talking radio
However I am generally not intimidated by gay pubs(Bristol pub exception),never been banned from one and have always been treated well in them.

gay boozers are a goldmine. Poofs generally tend to be quite well off (They have some sort of business network, like the Jewish ones, but pink). Every city that I have lived in, these bars are the best earners. They love a punt. And they do it badly, since with their effeminate wrists stop-n-step is next to impossible.
Sure you have to put up with the inevitable "hi handsome", but they soon know you're just there to rip the fruit. And they never bar you. It's something to do with discrimination.. lol.. imagine being barred and going "It is because I'm a ga..mbler?"

i hope you didn't offer to push anyone's stool in.

blackmogu wrote:gay boozers are a goldmine. Poofs generally tend to be quite well off (They have some sort of business network, like the Jewish ones, but pink). Every city that I have lived in, these bars are the best earners. They love a punt. And they do it badly, since with their effeminate wrists stop-n-step is next to impossible.
Sure you have to put up with the inevitable "hi handsome", but they soon know you're just there to rip the fruit. And they never bar you. It's something to do with discrimination.. lol.. imagine being barred and going "It is because I'm a ga..mbler?"

got barred from too gay pubs on friday night for emptying 2 lifes a beach . played the first that went £50, then over the road [a stones throw] too the next one that was'nt ready, whilst finishing drinks the gaffer from the first one walks in going mad saying we have just emptied his machine over the road, after a bit of an argument and me telling him that he's full of shit and too ring the police i say if you can prove its empty i'll never come in here again, so he takes me and 2 mates back over the road too see that they have got the front up on king kerching that none of us had played???? so after an apology he tells us were still barred [he owns both bars] because he's heard about us going round emptying machines. i tell him too get the police and i'll wait here, he just says i can't prove it.

dunno how people keep getting barred from boozers.. even the rough spit and sawdust ones never gave me much grief (someone got set alight in one for a laugh whilst I was doing a supercharged!). Social engineering is what is required to keep your earners on your rounds. Walking away from a glowing red may mean you miss out on £40 this time, but think of all the future times you can reap the rewards. Figure out which staff are pricks, change up notes at the bar etc. even a bit of bribery sometimes (usually the most effective). For the small investment of several beers, I used to get the landlord of a boozer near me to turn off the picking vamp when it was boosting/add again and ring me up.
Never underestimate the usefulness of flirting with the female bar staff either. Even sleep with a few pretty ones if you can. They tend to rotate around the pub circuit, and you never get barred on their watch. Sleep with cute arcade attendants. I had a bit on the side in southampton quicksilvers, who let me cane her random spinna. Friend was seeing a bird from one of the slots of fun arcades, who let us do anything we liked on her watch. Also useful when you've been out all day and can't be arsed travelling 2 hours going back home. A quick call and a bed is a free win !

who let us do anything we liked on her watch

Now that sounds like an arcade worth visiting...