I don't think the state of cool's mental health has ever been in any doubt lol. I was pretty indignant the first time I got banned over 30 years ago. But I soon came to accept that it is just part of the job and not worth even thinking about. Pub landlords come and go. And in the past anyway you had the consolation that you were making far more money than they were lol.
I wear glasses but have a grade zero haircut so the wig might just work , dreadlocks or a mullet maybe....
and JG I think you are talking about a Treasure Chest in a parallel universe a positively ancient machine.