What a horrid day! What a horrid day! What a horrid day!
Well what can I say?
IF you want it quick, £29 (net) up for a four hour Saturday session. I thought I'd try an eveningish run. If you want it slow, here we go.
Highlights. Get a history lesson on a bank of PMKs 2nd (arguably) favourite lo-tech. Get this right, get this. £90 in and I'm dicking about a bit, for some reason I get a bit daredevil. Not showing main value and I thought let's bait it, so like a donkey I held first and third x and in it only bloomin' drops. Thirty five. Plus the twenty five from fivers. So it's decision time. Was that a premature doobry? Can't be too far off. The only thing that's niggling is the rare double flash for back to back £35s from the main that has apparently occurred. Wondering if it was a £35 repeat bloop, but assured not. I know it does do it, we're talking autopoop btw as well, so whilst you and I would blap that back, it can do a double pip 2*£35 from the main all from the main. That could have set it back a 2'er but it has been softened by a few people paying good money for sets of Xs. So was a bit worried about a possibly expensive y'know, but the carrot was there. The humungous wooper was supposedly in there. Blap that £60 back and another £30, so it's £120 in and naff all action. So it's then that I decide to change up a twenty in game one, see if it puts out the light. No. No win. Might as well try another twenty and it's a small peep for a £5 game. Game on. Lonng story short go in with some biscuit rolls thrown in, a fifty profit. Why oh why did I not go in on that one first? I know this might be a bit boring and only the truly insane will actually read this as it's a bit huffly muffly cryptic but there's some other stuff soon, so if you're finding this boring, just skip on to another bit.
Back to the other game and we're £120 in with naff all in the bank, oh maybe a £10 from auto pip Xs. Then it's a whoopwheeper for yellowishness, yellownishage. Flunka and the red bloops blap in once, twice and then a B O X for a £45 bloopaloopa. OK, with my calculationypoos other bits are comin' up, comin' up so let's play on. Overdue on the bongs, so let's play on obviously, ffs £65 down, come on. £90 off full btw, so bit worried about the double pip main bongo. Long story short about sixty squillion to get it something that sounds like folding. Or maybe just over £200 in credits from that stupid drop on the wooplas. Didn't help it started being a dick and rolling in £5 bings before it was loose. So much for that big repeat pot eh? £45 smelly squid. Do I go back in and blap £200 over the back for a £40 pot if that's all it can pay? Or is it being crafty and saving a bit for a SURPRISE £120 pot?
Anyway this is boring myself even so long story short there was some serious barage. Within about £150 of credits maybe less I had nudges onto bars, I had roll in (make of guitar, Les Paul isn't it?), yeah guitar bars I had a hold off a single and then TOTALLY UNEXPECTED A WHOOP WHEEP WHOOP WHEEP on a biscuit followed by it finally started moulding and autod fairly soon for a flat pack followed by a tidy nudge+hold for a finish up on the blues. Long story short, lost about £20 on it which was I suppose not too bad considering it had naff all repeat value and in essence with some roll in blops and that fuck up by me, costing £200+ in credits to get it there. All those bars saved me. Left it not so good, just that repeat I'm a little concerned. Some random will probably bag a 1'er from a whoopa later on in the week.
About £30 up for tenzillion hours of bars and Xs spinning around.
The it's onto a dial. So far behind that I know a certain someone has obviously got there before me, which also means that the bloop will be comatose.
A selection of Reds, burnt. So it's burnt.
Then onto the top secret moodo.
Not touched, but takes £35 to go in, get greedy. It has been looking tidy from the start and I decide to go all in. Such a bad play, why do this? Get swallowed to %, unlikely to hit the proper free and maybe bunged a free £5-£15 from the breaker you wouldn't have got otherwise but the % takes its cut above that. Divvy play, time wasting. Made it anyway. Blocked 3*hi 3*lo and GUAC for such a long time. £98 in to get the any way you like and a feeble flat. Then £10 later for a Sissy Sid says for £35 plus my free £10 which I guessed might be lurking. Thankfully boxes not too costly, sometimes they take £35 for £35 which is back to square one.
Then a £6 board for skillage which I mayhemed and fkd for the red football club. Donkey. Could have slyed a quick sly one. Let's just say it would have slipped anyway. Finished that a few pound down.
Pointless BTQ buzzing, no freebie value, got done to % for evens. Couldn't nip in, jamming 2s/11s so bad. Should have taken my red whore snoopy shots early on eh? Full. What a clown. Had the bonus bloopla last week so not really due.
Then thought I'd try a student pub with lost of Games Media stuff and a Mummy. Notey off on Mummy, tried and its float matched its mood. Games Media more of the same. Fannying around on ROTJ showing 4s from the off for a messy £70. Had to leave with the feeling it may throw in a random biggie, bit was just not feeling lucky. Left it messy. Diarrhoeae. Didn't kill it. Sometimes it costs to kill. Left dejected.
Went to pub with a chipped Gluedo and saw they had some new stuff. A dial was so far ripped to pieces with notey off it was shocking. First few spins and dejectedly it didn't seem to be a p1, might be a p2. No it isn't. Looks like a p4 on its arse.
Then onto the Gluedo. £3 in and a roll in cherries. Hmmm. Red hi/lo. Ok, game on, game on. Don't get it that board, bit £4 for boxes. Hmmmmm. Extra life off bonus. Boosts to red GUAC. hmmmmm. mmmmmmm. Onto something that cost nearly a ton earlier and I put £7 in. OK this is my MAttb moment. I've got the free bloopa, it's happy anyway. What can we consider reasonable here? About £70+ from £20? Have we found a good one? The dials are burnt, but here out of nowhere between the players going around etc is a Ludo? with value. So there it is. My red mega. Unfortunately I forgot to whisper the words "I'm Mattb" into the speaker, which guarantees a £120 streak, so I got flat £35. Two credits then grapes roll in, not a bloopla. Flat £35 was my bonus. No worries, looking to get a result. Just to mention it's a busy night and I'm arse to arse with some noisy bint and her friends. Anyway, £8 later and I manage a sneaky 3+step for a 12 onto give us a cluey. Up to £6 and then it happens.
My right contact lens falls out. I wear gas permeable hard lenses. If I'm not driving I just go blurry. My vision is good enough I can see machines anyway(!). i certainly don't need corrective aids to hit GUAC, but my lens falls out. Onto the floor. I quickly check the machine. Hard to see a lens against the glass, don't feel it on the machine (GUAC spinning). Fumbling around and I think I'm bending about too much. These lenses aren't disposable, need to try and find it. Probably on the carpet....WHOOOOOOOOOOF at that moment there is a surge in the crowd and we're all pushed into the machine whilst I'm looking for my lens. basically the plan is hand on middle hold, bend down find lens, get back up and get MS. Doesn't work get pushed into machine and too late it stops on a grape or something stupid as my hand is pushed onto the button. All this has basically happenned in about six seconds flat. Telling it like this it sounds like really silly, but that's how it happenned. Long story short, ended up paying £25 ontop of the £6 to get the GUAC back. COCK! and minus a contact lens. DOUBLE COCK!
I don't usually wear the lenses much anyway, usually blurry or glasses. TRIPLE COCK. You see I used to find the smoke made 'em uncomfortable. Now no smoking, just had them on and went around a few pubs.
Oh but it hasn't finished. Oh no.
What should be next to a Cluedo but a Power 5.
Well you have to.
It did an Extreme Eddie. Inexplicably dead and lots of game over boards I say dead, it was £2 starting, but still taking £10ish to get on.
I was just annoyed and pissed off. Planning to play a bit later, but my sight was cocked with one lens in and I was feeling grouchy. Called time at £29 up (net) taking into account that a new set of lenses (assuming you have to buy a pair, never lost one before) will be about £29!
Let's pretend I'm Mattb now. This is how the story goes.
"Hi people! Excuse the exclamation mark but I'm a little excited, just had a fantastic day! I don't know why people keep moaning. I can't lose if I try. I started off on a Golden Game. I don't usually play this, but the girl in the arcade told me the end one was due. About £5 in and it nudges for bars. I'm just collecting my £35 and I put back another quid. Last credit O-B-O and it nudges. I have to put in another quid, it doesn't hold but rolls in the bars which hold. Glorious! To top it off It then gives another set of bars on the next quid and I cheekily hold the two outside Xs and it drops in a game for a disappointing flat £35. About £165 up in five minutes! HUGE!
Then I move to the next pub which has a dial and a walk of wealth. Does anyone actually play these dials? On the board first credit and it's giving phones naturally. It's so far ahead it's incredible. I don't think anyone knows how to play it, as I walk with £50 profit. The WOW was on its arse. I got on the board in a quid and hit COB which gave a sly £20. Don't know why I bother with those.
Then tried a BTQ. A sneaky quick 4ss for £10+a repeat. All from £2, my pint had barely settled at this point. So as there was nothing else worth playing, I killed time on the quiz. Only got the £5 box on Big reds and a sneaky £4 win on Bullseye.
Then I play my top secret Cluedo. Lines off £2 and I get one red magnifier, two his, middle an 11 on a magnifier. Hi for 12 and then skill for invincible. Sweet, as it wasn't going anywhere near GUAC. Flat £35, really disappointing.
I try a few Reds but they're mostly dead surpirsingly. After milking them down, just a mere £10 up. Even my Coppa Loada Thisa yesa eha youa lookinga ata mea eha? wasn't really that 'reddy'.
Then I go into this other pub with a p3 Cleudo. The dial is fairly happy, I snare a quick game of DOND for about £14 in and see the £35 box land. Happy days! Then onto Cluedo. I can't believe it! It's obviously there as it's red hi/lo but loses that board. Then I get boxes off £4 and before I know it I've got red guac on the free board. MS red goes for a cool £85. Sweet. £2 more for a snared GUAC and as I snare the MS I notice a crushed contact lens on the floor. How odd I think, but then i spy a POwer 5. rapidly I collect my money from the Cluedo after one more board (dead, but I skill a red fast cash for £15) . The Power 5 takes £11 for the first board, but it's full and then I realise it's unchipped!!! HUGE!!! I bank it up for £2 and retire for the night a HUGE HUGE sum of money up.
Sorry Matt, that's just a bit of therapy. Had a shit day, worse than Vickers for Christ's sake. The only thing was, I was never really that much up, ever.
A right bloomin' fook up
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trayhop123
- Senior Member
- Posts: 4901
- Joined: Tue Jan 22, 2008 9:21 pm
- Location: leicester
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mr lugsy
- Senior Member
- Posts: 5776
- Joined: Thu Mar 13, 2008 12:19 pm
- Location: looking over your shoulder
- Contact:
hrk you are having a steffi?,george got promoted to mod for a good reason,that is he's the top,top,top,top poster on here,the main attraction if you like,and an absolute genius .
one of the first posts i read on here was a huge essay by him,a story of a childhood holiday ,which if put to the vote would probably make the top 3 of alltime on here.
one of the first posts i read on here was a huge essay by him,a story of a childhood holiday ,which if put to the vote would probably make the top 3 of alltime on here.
You guys don't know the score.
Some of Georges posts have hidden messages.
I worked this out for myself.
1. Posts in General Forum are based on the code that takes the first letter of every other word to spell out a trick or tip.
ie Please Leave Us Guys In Filey In Morning
means PLUG IF IM.
2. Posts in other fora (plural of forum) use the Superencipherment method whereby it has become typical to encipher a message after first encoding it, so as to provide greater security by increasing the degree of difficulty for cryptanalysts. With a numerical code, this was commonly done with an "additive" - simply a long key number which was digit-by-digit added to the code groups, modulo 10. Unlike the codebooks, additives would be changed frequently. The famous Japanese Navy code, JN-25, was of this design, as were several of the Royal Navy Cyphers used after WWI and into WWII.. As well as providing security, a well designed code can also compress the message, and provide some degree of automatic error correction. For ciphers, the same degree of error correction has generally required use of computers.
3. The emptier was spread over three messages and only when you put the three messages together did you get the full empty. This stopped part time readers, and particulary Bell Fruit security from decipering the message. Those that were semi-illiterate had no chance. George imitated this age old code after watching an episode of the New Avengers, called "The Three Handed Game" whereby three unconnected people where given one third of the secret each. Useless on their own, but put them all together and hey presto.
4. This was Georges most cunning code, used for passing the Power 5
information in March 2007. Based on the famous Vigenère cipher, he devised a method of encrypting alphabetic text by using a series of different Caesar ciphers based on the letters of a keyword. It is a simple form of polyalphabetic substitution. This cipher is well known because while it is easy to understand and implement, it often appears to beginners to be unbreakable; this earned it the description le chiffre indéchiffrable (French for 'the unbreakable cipher').
5. The smileys used formed a code which George derived after reading the short story called "The Dancing Men" in the book, The Return of Sherlock Holmes.
Since early July George has been working on a new system based on the one time pad code which will be with us soon.
He has freely let me publish this as all the previous information has become obsolete or common knowledge.
Some of Georges posts have hidden messages.
I worked this out for myself.
1. Posts in General Forum are based on the code that takes the first letter of every other word to spell out a trick or tip.
ie Please Leave Us Guys In Filey In Morning
means PLUG IF IM.
2. Posts in other fora (plural of forum) use the Superencipherment method whereby it has become typical to encipher a message after first encoding it, so as to provide greater security by increasing the degree of difficulty for cryptanalysts. With a numerical code, this was commonly done with an "additive" - simply a long key number which was digit-by-digit added to the code groups, modulo 10. Unlike the codebooks, additives would be changed frequently. The famous Japanese Navy code, JN-25, was of this design, as were several of the Royal Navy Cyphers used after WWI and into WWII.. As well as providing security, a well designed code can also compress the message, and provide some degree of automatic error correction. For ciphers, the same degree of error correction has generally required use of computers.
3. The emptier was spread over three messages and only when you put the three messages together did you get the full empty. This stopped part time readers, and particulary Bell Fruit security from decipering the message. Those that were semi-illiterate had no chance. George imitated this age old code after watching an episode of the New Avengers, called "The Three Handed Game" whereby three unconnected people where given one third of the secret each. Useless on their own, but put them all together and hey presto.
4. This was Georges most cunning code, used for passing the Power 5
information in March 2007. Based on the famous Vigenère cipher, he devised a method of encrypting alphabetic text by using a series of different Caesar ciphers based on the letters of a keyword. It is a simple form of polyalphabetic substitution. This cipher is well known because while it is easy to understand and implement, it often appears to beginners to be unbreakable; this earned it the description le chiffre indéchiffrable (French for 'the unbreakable cipher').
5. The smileys used formed a code which George derived after reading the short story called "The Dancing Men" in the book, The Return of Sherlock Holmes.
Since early July George has been working on a new system based on the one time pad code which will be with us soon.
He has freely let me publish this as all the previous information has become obsolete or common knowledge.
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trayhop123
- Senior Member
- Posts: 4901
- Joined: Tue Jan 22, 2008 9:21 pm
- Location: leicester
It's all a matter of Butterfly Effect. The extra time it takes you to read JG's posts and decode all the hidden meanings holds you back just enough time to let all your hits become that little bit more ready.
Unfortunately it has an opposite effect for JG.
Unfortunately it has an opposite effect for JG.
Confucius say "man who know wombat know more than stupid looking monkey"
