ok pub today panther, done it 3ish times before always ready, go in there, staff tell me someone had won on it earlier, but was full so rubbish of course....
bought a magners to make it a bit less hot and trundle over.... £5 in lines, got the ITP, MS of course £35... anyhow £4 pays out and it then alarms VERY loudly with
" Pay unit error 17 "
Woman (landlady) comes over and tells me RIGHT YOUR OUT, that error message means you've been fiddling the machine.... Had a bit of an argument which was clearly going nowhere, and she ended up GIVING me the £3 back for the magners so I'd leave, was no hope of getting the £31....
Fucking bitch....
ERROR 17 - that means you've been fiddling it!!!!!!
That is nothing short of FUCKING BLOODY IRRITATING.
Sorry about that.
I can't give you a Mega Streak, but I did find this rant on the Internet which may cheer you up.
Quick Links: Rant in Our Forums - Email JRI.
No one likes a smart arse , this is why i am so unpopular.
But i have been noticing a breed that seems to have reared it's ugly head again recently.
Now Fruit Machines are a waste of time.
And i know far far too many people who consider themselves to be Fruit Machine experts.
You can watch them slapping the buttons seemingly at random and adopting the "fruity stoop"
In other words bending at the waist to try and see whats next on the rollers.
Here's a tip - YOU CANT SEE IT, if such little care was put into manufacturing the machines they would have gone bankrupt by now you fuckwit.
I have watched perfectly normal men turn into total idiots when faced with a fruit machine.
shovelling cash in by the handful and saying "oh i'm due a win" and this machines "ready to drop" , only for them to lose all their money and have to sponge drinks off me for the rest of the night or nurse a half and spend there time fervently watching other people playing the same machine just to see if someone takes all their wasted change out of it.
I am not going to tolerate this "there is a skill" in playing fruit machines buillshit any more.
Oh well done by holding down a particular button you slow the reels down , how did NASA miss a genius like you.
Now you have cracked that code can you rationally explain why you have put 20 pounds into a machine that is never ever going to pay you more than 25 back even on a good day , and there is precious little chance of that?
Of course it's a highly skillful pastime isn't it , not just flashing lights and silly noises designed a million different ways to ensure you have no cash.
I have nothing against gambling , if you want to waste your money on games of chance be my guest. It is a vice i mercifully have never adopted.
I know people who go to Casino's and blow a fortune , but at least they are playing for the chance to win a decent amount of money rather than a pocket full of pound coins.
I have had some stringent discussions with a Particular mate who is a degenerate gambler in disguise, intellectually he knows the house always wins , but he has a mental blindspot after a certain amount of Lager and will chase the Fabled BIG WIN until he is walking home as he's spent his taxi fare , bus money , Gas Payment and Can't afford to eat for a month.
I've given up trying to tell him and have adopted a Chiding mother hen stance.
I have been to the Casino myself but i am the type of punter everybody else hates.
lowest bet possible , no risk , happy to go home two quid up.
in short , a bloody nuisance.
Plus i can never remember the rules so delay all the fast paced action by constantly asking what a queens worth.
I feel i am doing my bit to disabuse these people of the notion that they are living in a Paul Newman movie , instead of actually sending their homes spiralling into inevitable repossesion.
In fact, the main thing that annoys me about Casino's is you aren't allowed to either drink or swear at the tables but can chain smoke in peoples faces?
If i drop a grand on your blackjack table i think it would be fairly reasonable of me to mutter "shitting fucking shithouse fuck" rather than taking it like a rough tough man and going home to explain to my wife why the Two weeks in Spain have now got to be cancelled.
Personally I enjoy quiz machines.
Now I appreciate that they are not much better than the fruit machines but I get great satisfaction from picking the right answer to questions like "who performed the Theme song to Flashdance" and "what is a group of Owls called".
Plus if I stick to the TV questions I can make the game last longer than the 2 seconds it takes to blow a tenner in a bandit.
But regardless of what you are playing I have noticed recently the return of the "expert Stranger".
Most Pubs seem to have one , especially in Weatherspoons or other places where the Beer is cheaper and you can stretch a dole cheque all day if you stick to Carling.
You have probably met one yourself but they tend to come in two Broad categories.
Drooling inbred shitbag with Halitosis, and what at first glance appears to be a learning disability, but upon further investigation turns out to be the type of incoherent drunkenness you can only achieve by starting around 9 in the morning.
or
Menacing, bitter Sociopath who has lost 25 quid over the course of the afternoon and wants to intimidate anyone else who looks like they might win.
So perhaps your waiting for someone or just killing some time before a train and you decide to put a couple of quid in a machine and....WHAM they are hanging on your shoulder like impending fucking doom.
Full of advice and suggestions and pushing buttons .
Errrr PISS OFF.
Why are you bothering me you twat.
Look if I need the wisdom of a barely sentient cretin I will come and find you. Believe me you would be top of the list , but until then fuck off, sit down and stop invading my peace and quiet with your bollocks.
how about I walk up to your table , sit down and start drinking your pint just to "help you out".
Wankers.
I remember one fucker actually lost me fifteen quid by Insisting, despite my objections, that It was Jodie Foster not Meryl "stupid accent orange peeling" Streep in Out of Africa and he leaned in and pressed the button.
needless to say I was forced to bite his nose off.
So next time someone tries to force their assistance on you I strongly advise you do the same.
It's the only way to stop them.
Bloody people.
Footnote: Rollers - Laughing my face off and possibly falling off a chair 'rolling' around the room! Rollers. They're......REELS. Christ's sake.
Sorry about that.
I can't give you a Mega Streak, but I did find this rant on the Internet which may cheer you up.
Quick Links: Rant in Our Forums - Email JRI.
No one likes a smart arse , this is why i am so unpopular.
But i have been noticing a breed that seems to have reared it's ugly head again recently.
Now Fruit Machines are a waste of time.
And i know far far too many people who consider themselves to be Fruit Machine experts.
You can watch them slapping the buttons seemingly at random and adopting the "fruity stoop"
In other words bending at the waist to try and see whats next on the rollers.
Here's a tip - YOU CANT SEE IT, if such little care was put into manufacturing the machines they would have gone bankrupt by now you fuckwit.
I have watched perfectly normal men turn into total idiots when faced with a fruit machine.
shovelling cash in by the handful and saying "oh i'm due a win" and this machines "ready to drop" , only for them to lose all their money and have to sponge drinks off me for the rest of the night or nurse a half and spend there time fervently watching other people playing the same machine just to see if someone takes all their wasted change out of it.
I am not going to tolerate this "there is a skill" in playing fruit machines buillshit any more.
Oh well done by holding down a particular button you slow the reels down , how did NASA miss a genius like you.
Now you have cracked that code can you rationally explain why you have put 20 pounds into a machine that is never ever going to pay you more than 25 back even on a good day , and there is precious little chance of that?
Of course it's a highly skillful pastime isn't it , not just flashing lights and silly noises designed a million different ways to ensure you have no cash.
I have nothing against gambling , if you want to waste your money on games of chance be my guest. It is a vice i mercifully have never adopted.
I know people who go to Casino's and blow a fortune , but at least they are playing for the chance to win a decent amount of money rather than a pocket full of pound coins.
I have had some stringent discussions with a Particular mate who is a degenerate gambler in disguise, intellectually he knows the house always wins , but he has a mental blindspot after a certain amount of Lager and will chase the Fabled BIG WIN until he is walking home as he's spent his taxi fare , bus money , Gas Payment and Can't afford to eat for a month.
I've given up trying to tell him and have adopted a Chiding mother hen stance.
I have been to the Casino myself but i am the type of punter everybody else hates.
lowest bet possible , no risk , happy to go home two quid up.
in short , a bloody nuisance.
Plus i can never remember the rules so delay all the fast paced action by constantly asking what a queens worth.
I feel i am doing my bit to disabuse these people of the notion that they are living in a Paul Newman movie , instead of actually sending their homes spiralling into inevitable repossesion.
In fact, the main thing that annoys me about Casino's is you aren't allowed to either drink or swear at the tables but can chain smoke in peoples faces?
If i drop a grand on your blackjack table i think it would be fairly reasonable of me to mutter "shitting fucking shithouse fuck" rather than taking it like a rough tough man and going home to explain to my wife why the Two weeks in Spain have now got to be cancelled.
Personally I enjoy quiz machines.
Now I appreciate that they are not much better than the fruit machines but I get great satisfaction from picking the right answer to questions like "who performed the Theme song to Flashdance" and "what is a group of Owls called".
Plus if I stick to the TV questions I can make the game last longer than the 2 seconds it takes to blow a tenner in a bandit.
But regardless of what you are playing I have noticed recently the return of the "expert Stranger".
Most Pubs seem to have one , especially in Weatherspoons or other places where the Beer is cheaper and you can stretch a dole cheque all day if you stick to Carling.
You have probably met one yourself but they tend to come in two Broad categories.
Drooling inbred shitbag with Halitosis, and what at first glance appears to be a learning disability, but upon further investigation turns out to be the type of incoherent drunkenness you can only achieve by starting around 9 in the morning.
or
Menacing, bitter Sociopath who has lost 25 quid over the course of the afternoon and wants to intimidate anyone else who looks like they might win.
So perhaps your waiting for someone or just killing some time before a train and you decide to put a couple of quid in a machine and....WHAM they are hanging on your shoulder like impending fucking doom.
Full of advice and suggestions and pushing buttons .
Errrr PISS OFF.
Why are you bothering me you twat.
Look if I need the wisdom of a barely sentient cretin I will come and find you. Believe me you would be top of the list , but until then fuck off, sit down and stop invading my peace and quiet with your bollocks.
how about I walk up to your table , sit down and start drinking your pint just to "help you out".
Wankers.
I remember one fucker actually lost me fifteen quid by Insisting, despite my objections, that It was Jodie Foster not Meryl "stupid accent orange peeling" Streep in Out of Africa and he leaned in and pressed the button.
needless to say I was forced to bite his nose off.
So next time someone tries to force their assistance on you I strongly advise you do the same.
It's the only way to stop them.
Bloody people.
Footnote: Rollers - Laughing my face off and possibly falling off a chair 'rolling' around the room! Rollers. They're......REELS. Christ's sake.
-
Martal~Wombat.
- Member
- Posts: 76
- Joined: Fri Jan 25, 2008 6:20 pm
- Location: leicester
Well thats obviously due ot the huge scale of the recent notey toolsMartal~Wombat. wrote:I think there must have been a big committee meeting recently in
the pub industry cos its getting well 'on top' everywhere now
& if a m/c breaks down anywhere these days & your face is
known, its 'your up 2 summat' attitude !
:x
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bigpokercouk
- Senior Member
- Posts: 423
- Joined: Wed Sep 19, 2007 2:34 am
-
Matt Vinyl
- Senior Member
- Posts: 7198
- Joined: Wed May 11, 2005 6:56 pm
- Location: Lost in the outback, Bryan
-
anfield road
- Senior Member
- Posts: 2687
- Joined: Mon Jun 19, 2006 7:48 am
It is becoming well on top now in all pubs, obvioulsy some are still very sweet but the majority are just like horendous to play in.
I will not dare claim an IOU now if its on the right note changer to save me getting the blame, even if I get the streak and it goes into £80 IOU I will just walk.
Just be careful were you play, keep a refill key on your key ring and make sure there are loads of other keys and gadgets on there to save them noticing the key
I will not dare claim an IOU now if its on the right note changer to save me getting the blame, even if I get the streak and it goes into £80 IOU I will just walk.
Just be careful were you play, keep a refill key on your key ring and make sure there are loads of other keys and gadgets on there to save them noticing the key
justice For The 96
*****
*****
Sounds like Jackpot George has a similar friend to one of mine, tends to be happy go lucky when winning but as soon as he's twenty plus down on any machine, you get the banging of the start button and shouts of "I can't f*****g believe you" to the offending machine (you'd believe it was alive or something).
Think he'd learn to walk at some point but never happens, just pours it all in till skint for "his" money back, just leave him to it and move on to next pub as know its going to be a case of 8 in, 5 out, repeat till skint sort of thing.
Think he'd learn to walk at some point but never happens, just pours it all in till skint for "his" money back, just leave him to it and move on to next pub as know its going to be a case of 8 in, 5 out, repeat till skint sort of thing.
I personally think that makes things look worse. Fair enough, if you think you're a marked man and that pointing out a big IOU to barstaff isn't gonna help matters, it might occasionally be better to walk quietly. I'd have thought though that if you leave a machine with any sort of error message on the alpha and don't say anything that clueless staff might become more suspicious than they already were.anfield road wrote:It is becoming well on top now in all pubs, obvioulsy some are still very sweet but the majority are just like horendous to play in.
I will not dare claim an IOU now if its on the right note changer to save me getting the blame, even if I get the streak and it goes into £80 IOU I will just walk.
But on the occasions when it's happened to me, I've found that the bar managers or staff have a bit more respect for you if you happily volunteer your name and number, and acknowledge that the fault couldn't be helped and that you're aware that an engineer will need to be called before any payout is made. The relationship can become a bit better with the very people who may be curious about the way you're playing. It could have the effect that they think 'hmm, he can't have anything to hide if he's happy to share his details with us' sort of thing.
I agree completely with the original point that some pubs are becoming very hostile places, it ain't good to feel awkward about winning back some of what you put in.
This machine may at times offer a choice where the player has every chance of bankruptcy
I agree with you Nixxy. Fair enough if you never plan to go back in that certain pub again but if your local and you leave a machine with an error for whatever reaon and don't point it out it'll just bring you under even more suspicion. There's always some busybody watching and will no doubt point it out, or even worse the CCTV covers the machine.
I've never come across anybody awkward as far as Machines breaking go (Aside from a £12 IOU that I never got the phone call to collect). I even told a bar staff member once how to try and fix it. On an Invincible I was collecting out my bank and it IUO'd at something like £20 odd. Told the barman and mentioned that it had happened before and sometimes if you switch it off and on then it might pay out. They did it and bobs your uncle it paid out.
I've never come across anybody awkward as far as Machines breaking go (Aside from a £12 IOU that I never got the phone call to collect). I even told a bar staff member once how to try and fix it. On an Invincible I was collecting out my bank and it IUO'd at something like £20 odd. Told the barman and mentioned that it had happened before and sometimes if you switch it off and on then it might pay out. They did it and bobs your uncle it paid out.
betchrider wrote:You go upto a bird and grab her quim and say "im gonna knock the fuck outta this" and see what happens
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Martal~Wombat.
- Member
- Posts: 76
- Joined: Fri Jan 25, 2008 6:20 pm
- Location: leicester
Some places won't let u switch off & on,
they're adamant about waiting 4 the engineer
2 b called, it's a stinker when it's a big staked
m/c and the m/c is buzzing it's tits off, when it
could probably b rectified by a single click of a switch!
they're adamant about waiting 4 the engineer
2 b called, it's a stinker when it's a big staked
m/c and the m/c is buzzing it's tits off, when it
could probably b rectified by a single click of a switch!
One day you're the pigeons.....
...the next day you're the statues!!
...the next day you're the statues!!
ok I dont remember the pub name, but it was a pub near sutton (south london), on a crossroads with panther and money mad monsters, beforewhich it had pulsation and rock around the clock... perhpas someone who played around there aswell might have an idea of what the pub is called eh...Nixxy wrote:Yeah, is there any reason why this pub can't be named and shamed - it would be beneficial to us all I think.