Fruit Machine Chat

When asked by people you dont really know?

Sometimes I tell the truth depending on the person or I will just tell them my previous job title.

Guess some understand and some dont!!!!!!!!!

Favourite response has to be when you say you've made £150 'yeah but how much did you put in?' Always makes me giggle that one!

I tell people I buy and sell on e-bay for a living

I get the 'how much did you put in' blurb all the time. If i say i've made £100, what does it matter? I will have won big somewhere, maybe a few small wins, a big win and a few losses? At the end of it all you're still a ton better off, and thats all that matters.

Are you the Matt I met in Welling with the plastic cok in your pocket?

gotta admit i always think less of someone when i say ' i've just made £X' and they say all clever-like 'but how much did you put in?'
Your not my effing accountant so it doesn't effing matter how effing much i put in it's still effing proffit. . .fool
sorry but had this a few times from mate this evening.

I just made a profit of £68.


Yes, but how much did you put in?





Sheez. Definitions.


What do they want you to say?



"Oh - oops, now you come to mention it I put £69 in, thereby losing a quid. A pretty obvious scenario considering that fruit machine playing is a vacuous moronic loss making activity and I am a moron. Isn't that amazing? They should put an article on how tricky it is to know what you're really up in The Daily Mail. How can I possibly ever thank you enough? You are a superior human being compared to myself. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!"

I get it with poker.

I made £40 tonight.

You won £40, but how much did you bet to get £40.

So you explain i bet about £200 to win £240, then get greeted with "You risked £200 on a game of poker??!!"

At that point i just lose the will to live and decide against telling them that you never risk more than £10 at any point.

Guess some people will never understand. People's ignorance towards gambling really irks me sometimes.

Are you the Matt I met in Welling with the plastic cok in your pocket

And even though Welling is just down the road from me, it wasn't me either...

i say im a porn star! :d then they say boolocks!! so i say ok ok :d i am a plumber.. so i get norm salery..... + i have sort of my own business.. well.. its a bit of work... during work.. or after work.. that pays cash in hand.. + i know people who get alot of knock off... boilers n stoof.. so i make a bit of profit from them also!! so salery is just living money.. bills etc.. then extra work + k.o.. is week end money + fuel for my car :d


Toby

My mate who is asian was at the airport and the lady on the desk got chatting to him. She asked what he did for a living and he said comedian and she said no way. I don't beleive you what do you really do so he said I'm a suicide bommer.

The look on her face

How can you be a suicide bomber for a living?

Surely you blow yourself up once, then you die??!!

megastreaker wrote:My mate who is asian was at the airport and the lady on the desk got chatting to him. She asked what he did for a living and he said comedian and she said no way. I don't beleive you what do you really do so he said I'm a suicide bommer.

The look on her face

Im suprised he wasnt arrested on the spot!

OMG IRONY ALERT

Suicide Bombing can't be done for a living.....

I know its just a one off job. Unless you're crap at it and don't get it right first time. But yes why wasn't he carted off?

if somebody said they were a suicide bomber id have them licking dogshit before brekky