Fruit Machine Chat

When taking on certain machines, it's nice to have a big fat pile of coins around your person. Personally I find trips to the change machine very bad karma. Also the £3/hour foreign person often has trouble counting to twenty and it can take the best part of an hour to get your change.
Also for security reasons, their float is only £4.80 in tokens, and that does not include the obligatory trip to the cash office safe which is on a two hour time lock.

Whoops! I nearly choked on my tongue there, but you know what I mean. In an ideal world where people didn't get mugged, banks didn't look at you like Al Capone, you didn't need ten packs of Algesal beacuse your top pocket had £300 in it the day before last, you don't want to look like a walking change machine....well I'd carry £300 in coins on me.

However due to the inherent awkwardness of life itself, I often find myself walking into a 'place' bunging the £20 of bloop into the blap (oh no - not that again) and then starting the endless stroll up to the change machine. If you're lucky, you'll get the big blooper and have the satisfaction of getting rich off peanuts. Failing that you now have changed up £160, to win £190. You're £10 up, but have the rapturous joy of lugging around £190 as changing up more than £5 = a definite barring.
You now CAN'T go to the pub as you'll be labelled as 'one of 'em professional players'. The only thing to do now is sit on skill ball bingo and force out the free £5 ball game. This can cost up to £40 to do, so repeat a few times and there's your problem solved.

Or is it?

Point I'm making is, temporary storage of coins can be a nuisance.

The suit. The common garden off the peg at M&S suit. Or a three piece Hugo Bloss super Blooper or a master tailored exquisite designer mega blooper. All the same. The feble cotton stitched, cotton lined pockets will start to complain if more than £40 in gold nuggets reside in them. Also they're usually too shallow for the car/train, so a few of them may slip down into no man's land for the dog to eat or a passing junkie to espy.
That's the negative. The positive is that anyone in a suit can walk into a sleepy town pub and sedate the win stopper without looking suspicious.
They may have to walk out like Jon Wayne with haemarrhoids (bad spelling) but they'll be welcome next time.

The tight jeans. A terrible faux pas for the alternatively sexually orientated/emu (crap spelling intended so don't complain)/goth fruit player. This will cause severe loss of skin on the fingers, just trying to extract coins to pay for the beer, never mind the £70 you need to get the Red redding.

The combat trousers. A better choice. With multiple pockets for mobile phones, wallets and coins, the usual cumbersome cut of this garment allows a good disguise for high coin floats.


The bucket. The best choice. It's best just to carry a bucket around with you. I know this is ludicrous and would get you barred from Weatherspoons even, but I'm bored of this now. Can someone else pick up the baton?


A-line flares with pockets down the sides, mini skirts, wellington boots, jackets with lots of zips in 'em, empty tubes of Smarties, hats, caps, fleeces, raincoats.....sort it out.

He He!!

Combats are good for carrying plenty of coins and due to the large amount of various compartments I would say are 'multiple pot' trousers. Just the sort I like!! However they are prone to somewhat excessive rattling and therefore would not be suitable for the need to keep quiet pubs.

I had to buy a suit for a swanky doo not so long ago. Suffice to say 50 quid in tescos did the job. I might try this tactic when hitting some more 'local' out of town pubs. I think a tie is also in order. Yes, that should avert all eyes.

How about tight leather pants?? That would show off your coin bulge very impressively. However you might get some funny looks from other men in tight trousers.

The old favourites are the cherokee jeans from tescos. Most of them have lovely deep hoppers. I have numerous £600 hopper on both left and right front. Couple that with £200 left and right rear!! I find the Asda jeans a different kettle of fish. Certainly couldn't have note changers fitted on most of their ones.

Expensive jeans are a waste of time in this game as they just have'nt thought far enough ahead!!

A laptop bag is quite good, but dollar signs seem to flash in the eyes of the skaggy chav in some hostelries in the less salubrious parts of town.

I agree, somewhat wholeheartedly, with PMK as I too have a fondness for the 'Cherokee' line of clothing.

A week away slotting can be clothed for about £50 which includes at least 2 pairs of 'Section 16 hopper' jeans and two 'well disguised beer gut' shirts.

In fact, I'm thinking of trying to gain sponsorship from Cherokee, Diet Coke, Carling and Ginsters.....I need never buy anything again!!

Cherokee? Are you two only winning a few quid a week? :P

Top ramblign as ever Mr Streakypoos, though with a point this time! The comment about the shallow pocket jeans is so true, the backs of yer hands end up red raw sometimes when you have to keep rummaging away to grab coins.

Bag over the shoulder, easy to reach round and deposit/withdraw. can get achy tho!

Best thing I ever had was a long coat with vertical pockets, nothing ever fell out, and uber discreet if you have enough cons in there to weigh them down!

'multiple pot' trousers

Essential for ensuring you know where you are with each pound you put in and each pound you take out!

I usually go for a decent-ish pair of Jeans (Gap / Next), and, in the winter, a chunky coat for 'moving between venues'.

Have, in the past, suffered from red-raw back-hand syndrome however.

I find that smart / casual seems to suit most places around here.

when i was doing a pie factory i was in a pub and this goon sat on a stool at the bar behind me and plonked a taxi drivers float bag down on the bar which told all the pub his intentions.But i just prefer pockets

i would recomend a smart(ish) over-the-shoulder type affair. i have one that has the handy atribute of having a sort of 'hidden' zippered bag inside it, which could i imagine hold about £1,000 at a push. i agree that it can strain the old shoulders a bit though. however, its the most noise-free way of finding coins and most inconspicous.

Has anybody ever suffered from split nail syndrome ?
I'm not making out I cry over a bust nail like a girl, it's usually when your digging into jeans and just manage the perfect angle to rip straight down the side of a nail or cuticle then it's a ginger affair for the rest of the night.

kidgloves wrote:Has anybody ever suffered from split nail syndrome ?
I'm not making out I cry over a bust nail like a girl, it's usually when your digging into jeans and just manage the perfect angle to rip straight down the side of a nail or cuticle then it's a ginger affair for the rest of the night.

happened a few times

Dunno about you kid, but splitting nails doesn't make me want to have an affair with a ginge :P

p.s no it hasn't happened to me.....yet