Fruit Machine Chat

£50 up and didnt have to play a machine. The bonus of having your own and letting a few of the lads come round over the weekend.

the lads as in 'your friends' thats a bit wrong..?

Generally I find that's the way to turn friends into not so friendly friends. If you've got 50 friends and they all lose £1 each, well not such a worry, but if you've only got half a friend who loses £100, then you're into serious issues. For a start there is the trail of entrails which a half friend inevitably leaves lying around.
What I did was weld together a steel box about 3m*1m*1m and chemically sealed it to the floor, in a big city centre. It was more than just a steel box of course. It had a speaker, some flashy lights, a basic coin slot some buttons and the illusion of a game. It was 50p a game. Essentially it flashed randomly, giving the illusion of some kind of skill game. Rarely it'd pay the quid back out (only accepted quids). It was just a con really. There was no skill, no game, just random illuminations.
It was opened by a special magnetic lock. What I'd do is creep into town about 5am when revellers were at a minimum and pre 'the big sweep up'.
Usually I'd find just a handful of coins inside the box, but a few nights some poor sod who'd hit the jackpot down the pub, would have spunked the lot in the box! One night I found almost £700 in there! Then I fitted a note acceptor and that's when my mortgage overpayments really started firing up. Most nights I was scooping up in excess of £1000! It was fantastic. That was, until a community policeman (so I was told) lost most of his savings on it. Ooooops. Court cases were bought against me, I had to pay out vast sums of compensation. I was fined heavily for operating what pertained to be an illegal gambling game and my name was mud. The council plonked a statue of a naked lady on a horse on top of my steel box, to disguise the shameful horror of my actions (and to avoid paying contractors to remove it as it was chemically sealed into the ground.)
It was a shame as the next step was a credit card reader so I could set up my own international credit card scamming company.

Anyway that was, as you probably guessed from around the second word, what is known as a load of old bollockswallop. I shall now get back to the tedious work I was doing previously. The Nudgeman Christmas Story will be better than that. Bloop.

Another quality story from his Royal Bloopiness, The Red Party's only councillor in the north Of England, Herbert X Longstreak III.

5 lads tryin to win each others money and the opportunity to just play it for free which was turned down as they wanted to use thier own and take any winnings.

the lads as in 'your friends' thats a bit wrong..?

Cant see nothing wrong with that mjd or am i missin something?

Q. Do I need a licence for a gaming machine in my home for my own use?

No licence is required for home use of a gaming machine, providing it is used exclusively by its owner, and is not used by others under any circumstances.
What percentage is it set at ?

what m/c is it??

It's a good job I'm slightly myopic, otherwise that text may have been a tad hard to read. Yeah, err what percentage is it on and what machine is it?
Can I pop round on Tuesday to play it? AND will you bar me if I win?

Its barcrests Supernova! I will be brutaly honest i set it at 70% to take in a bit more winnings but it played like a dead on its arse red! so set it at 80% its a lot better now frequent boards and generous offers.

is it plated? il just come and spoon it then sort you out £20

Anfield Rd...Thought you knew your stuff.Booma, not spoona for gen2

For a Mazooma, do I need a booma, a spoona or a goona?

no offence at all but I just think its wrong to take money from your friends... infact its awful.. why are they your friends?

you effectively make money, at the expense of others, thats the way it is in the fruit machine world...

BUT to make money from your friends? Thats just low in my opinion

if there stupid enough to play it though?

Ah! Danger! Gambling is a lesson in the folly of human greed. Fruit machines are essentially boxes of hate that will putrify any goodness into pustules of horribleness. I demand all fruit machines be rechipped now to be non gambling orientated. I want whale music from all Cluedos as from now.