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Top 10 Fruit players in UK (or maybe the world)

Posted: Wed May 01, 2013 1:21 am
by redlinesman
1. Sir Linesman/The Chief/Junior Linesman
2. ?
3. ?
4. ?
5. ?
6. ?
7. ?
8. ?
9. ?
10. ?

Any thoughts gents?

Posted: Wed May 01, 2013 1:32 am
by JG
Who on earth is junior linesman?

Posted: Wed May 01, 2013 2:10 am
by redlinesman
Hi JG,

Hope you are well. Junior Linesman is my younger brother who is fresh from Academia. He was of the first class in Computer Science and also has masters in Game Theory. I'm sure he has a glittering career waiting for him somewhere but for the moment he has started to play fruit machines as part of my team. It is very much a novelty for him and he loves it. He is doing a 2nd masters beginning in the autumn which revolves around Philosophy & Critical Thinking. He's doing this to keep our parents off his back and to sort of legitimise his fruit playing on the side. He is also Chief Trader in the office.

Kind Regards, Sir Linesman

Posted: Wed May 01, 2013 6:48 am
by BFK
A degree in game theory? That's almost as laughable as JG's other thread - Pub Safe or what ever it was called!!

And how can you have 3 players ranked as No.1?!!!!

For the record, this is the order:

1 - Winning Babe
2 - Steelfix's apple pie.
3 - Steelfix's apple pies brother - Rasberry Pie
4 - Spyder for his Pie Factory knowledge.
5 - Kerry Katona
6 - BO - OB's Aussie brother.
7 - GJ Joe - JG's Misses
8 - Nigel from Swindon
9 - Cuthbert from Cumbria
10 - Joe Butchers Lacky - Sir 'chipped ltd' William

Posted: Wed May 01, 2013 7:43 am
by streakseims
Winning babe feels honoured,

She's not been playing much as she is about to pay out a baby boy :) she can drop any moment now!

Posted: Wed May 01, 2013 8:31 am
by harry2
Not a very covert operation, is it ? Cheers up the board, though. If I was that good, I wouldn't post a thing, unless your ego gets in the way of true professionalism.

Posted: Wed May 01, 2013 1:19 pm
by JG
Thankyou for clearing that up Sir. Game theory eh? He'll be designing the next big table game to hit the casinos I expect.

Posted: Wed May 01, 2013 6:34 pm
by Drpepper
What university did he do his masters at? I'm thinking of doing a part time masters and this is an area which interests me.

Posted: Wed May 01, 2013 7:25 pm
by harry2

Posted: Wed May 01, 2013 7:48 pm
by Glendale
None of my trainees in there??? Standards are slipping in the Glendale team! I expect my lads to dominate the top 50 next year!

Posted: Wed May 01, 2013 8:10 pm
by Sixbomb
1. Chris Smedley

2. Johnny Morris

3. Arcadenemy

4. Scouse Steve

5. Laputangina

6. Scooby Doo

7. Jesus

8. Arcadia Darren

9. London 5p crediter

10. Your Mum

Posted: Wed May 01, 2013 10:15 pm
by redlinesman
He did his masters at Liverpool.

Kind Regards, Sir Linesman

Posted: Wed May 01, 2013 10:21 pm
by redlinesman
Hi Sparrow,

You won't have heard of me. We rarely see any other fruit machine players on our schedule. If we do, they are normally identified as soon as they walk through the door or as soon as we walk through the door.

Kind Regards, Sir Linesman

Posted: Wed May 01, 2013 11:14 pm
by Glendale
Who have you seen from here on your travels lino? Have you seen the Glendale bald head in suffolk or maybe the Turk? What about london? Surely some people on here have stumbled apon you? The butcher? Beardy? My many trainees?

Posted: Wed May 01, 2013 11:56 pm
by redlinesman
Hi Glendale,

Over the last few years my schedule has been prepared to avoid bumping into other fruit machine players. Depending on the release, we normally have between 300-600 units as a portfolio. If there is a common playable in the same location we will normally scratch that location and we will often scratch many Weatherspoon pubs, it is simply too dangerous to visit them. However there is no one size that fits all and there are many different scenarios. For instance it depends on what sort of trick it is, how long it takes and whether I am flanked by security. What part of the country I am in and also how many tricks I am doing plays a part. For instance, I maybe on an emptier and a good exclusive method so my schedule would prioritise locations where both these units were housed. Obviously risk assessment and safety issues would be at the forefront of any consideration. When I have the Chief as security we can be a bit more flexible as we can quickly identify any potential players and act accordingly to avoid any unwanted attention. My schedules used to be arranged by the Chief but we now pay someone to organise them. We are currently developing a fully-fledged system that will make scheduling much easier. I once calculated that an efficient schedule could be worth as much as £2k more per week than a lesser one so it is a very important consideration.

Kind Regards, Sir Linesman