Goodbye

Ruler of The World · Post by **Ruler of The World** » Mon Mar 04, 2013 10:30 pm

The time has come for me and all of this to end, I have simply had enough.

I would entertain you with what went wrong and all the rest of it, but my head aches so badly and I am so beyond giving a shit about how I got here that I won't bother.

Let's just put it like this, there are friends in this world and there are people who simply pretend to be friends. I'm sure at least 1 person reading this will think I am about to give him a load of abuse in this post, but I am not going to do that.

It is just very rich when people who make minimal effort claim to have tried to help you out so immensely. Things they say like "I told you not to gamble." are seen as them making a huge effort, I could tell myself that every day - what good does it do?

I have done some things I am not proud of that may well have pissed these friends off, rightly so, but it is due to sickness that I have done them, not through spite.

I have always gambled since age 19. For 1 short period I stopped all by myself, during skill quest times. I simply cannot continue and to me there are 2 options, leave this country or leave the world altogether. Can't really afford option 1.

I have tried and tried and tried... To no avail. I would simply laugh at a GA meeting, tried hypnosis, nothing works. All I have now are headaches. Severe ones. I get angry, so angry and so easily because nothing ever goes right.

All stops from tomorrow, I have decided what to do and how and I hope you will all try to understand that I feel it is best if I am not a part of this world anymore, I am only doing harm, not helping anyone and I simply cannot be of any use alone. I tried to find machine partners, no one wants to know.

I wish you all good luck in your futures and hope your lives never come to this.

Glendale · Post by **Glendale** » Mon Mar 04, 2013 10:41 pm

Blimey! Hope all works out well for you! There is a lot of stress in this game, prob why im bald!

feeder22 · Post by **feeder22** » Mon Mar 04, 2013 10:43 pm

You've got kids. Fucking man up and think of others.
Money and all its problems is fuckall compared to the state you will leave others in.

Life can be difficult for everyone but luck beyond the darkness mate... you're a grown man. Ask yourself how would you feel if either of your parents decided to end their own lives?

How would you know GA won't work have you even tried a few sessions?

titchno1 · Post by **titchno1** » Mon Mar 04, 2013 10:51 pm

So your claiming to be hard up. If you top yourself you leave your family even more hard up and heart broken. You will pull through mate hang in their. Their is light at the end Of the tunnel. It might be a long tunnel but you will get there. If I could help you out I honestly would.

Oscar · Post by **Oscar** » Mon Mar 04, 2013 10:54 pm

I kind of echo those sentiments, Feeder22.

If I was a small child and my father decided to commit suicide I imagine it would scar me mentally for life.

The landlord · Post by **The landlord** » Mon Mar 04, 2013 10:57 pm

If somebody on here knows rotw personally, they should go 2 his home and make sure he's gonna be ok.

flashback · Post by **flashback** » Mon Mar 04, 2013 11:08 pm

Take a step back and look at the bigger picture, do you have friends and family? Think of them before doing something stupid, then put yourself first and take steps to get yourself out of what appears to be a bad situation. Go and try the GA meeting, yeah it'll work for some and not others, but how can you possibly know until you give it a go?

johncluedo · Post by **johncluedo** » Mon Mar 04, 2013 11:25 pm

Just get a routine and join a gym or if you can't afford it just do some exercise, helped me when I was at my lowest!

Glendale · Post by **Glendale** » Mon Mar 04, 2013 11:37 pm

I think a few of us have felt down at some point in this game! I remember giving up for 6 months in 2006 as the whole thing was doing my head in! Just went back to chef work! Felt better for it and was great to have less stress but the money side brought me back! I know a couple of players who have got really down in the game even though they were doing well at the time! If your about london tomorrow rotw then give ferdi a call and will meet up for a drink! More important things in life than machines mate!

BFK · Post by **BFK** » Tue Mar 05, 2013 12:31 am

I'm pissed, what the fuck?

Cheltenham soon?

Ruler of The World · Post by **Ruler of The World** » Tue Mar 05, 2013 5:23 am

Please spare me the guilt trips, without me and my mental gambling my kids would actually have something to inherit upon my death, not be on the verge of becoming homeless and probably end up in a council house or care. If I didn't have kids I wouldn't even consider taking drastic measures.

Landlord, there are people who have the cash lying around but they'd rather have that than help someone all I can say is enjoy it to them, they chose not to gamble to the scale I did so good for them. I would not wish the gambing disease upon anyone - except those who are so judgemental and think just saying don't gamble is helping.

No one understands, probably the closest to doing so is Rich. I'm proud of him, I hope he genuinely turns his life round through his actions and I am sure he will progress through hard work.

My phone is off and it's staying off simply because I know no one is going to help, all arrangements will be finalised by lunch I guess. I have asked everyone I possibly can for help not just in terms of financial support but in helping me earn the cash by coming with me, no one wants to know. I can honestly say that if I had the sort of cash some people have, I'd just give them the money if roles were reversed, but that's me and obviously not them.

My options are far too limited and I am in too deep.

harry2 · Post by **harry2** » Tue Mar 05, 2013 7:37 am

Don't give up A. I gambled everything I had for twenty years. Maxed out four credit cards, the missus left me and lost a house. Two years ago, at Christmas, I self excluded from every bookie in town for five years, best thing I ever done. So now I work three jobs just to eat up the time. Still fall off the wagon now and again, but getting here. There must be some other option. I managed to pay off £32k of debt. Most of my creditors stopped the interest , which was the real crippler.

Best of luck, we need a few entries in he Cheltenham competition, next week.

feeder22 · Post by **feeder22** » Tue Mar 05, 2013 10:00 am

Instead of finding excuses to go find excuses to stay...

I'm sure if you went through with it. Then in 10/15 years time your kids are gonna say "dad did it for us".

Stop being a coward and tackle whatever problems you have face first.

feeder22 · Post by **feeder22** » Tue Mar 05, 2013 10:02 am

Oh and if I was any closer i'd pair up for a bit. Don't like seeing anyone on there ass.

JG · Post by JG » Tue Mar 05, 2013 10:15 am

Something has to click inside. You're an intelligent person who is extremely frustrated with his gambling addiction. The situation is somewhat harder as you play/have played AWP with an edge. It's a legitimate reason to gamble to a point. However for your own sanity it sounds like you should follow in Rich and Harry's footsteps. F##k it off completely, self exclude on line and in the casino/bookies. Find something to fill the void. I know this advice is something of a cliche now on forums such as this one, but it's the only way. There's no anguish like a gambler's anguish. Suicide is not the answer,