Fruit Machine Chat

I was just thinking about various things the 'stupids' do in pubs and all those other places where I've 'gambled' and things they've said. Perhaps it will bring some laughs to you all and take our minds off the boring and threat filled posts we've been exposed to of late...

Case 1: In general: You've got £2 in the bank having just put a note in, the guy behind you who saw you put the note in (and all the others before it), comes up to you and says "Are you winning?"

Case 2: In pubs: "I've never seen anyone play a fruity that fast before, you must work for the company mate!"

Case 3: In pubs: A machine is on reset reels and dropping, someone tells you, "My mate just got £140 out of that!"

Case 4: In bookies on a key bet: "Excuse me, why are you doing that bet, you can't win!" Also, "How do you get the Pot?" And "How much did you just win?" when a key has just dropped in - in front of them!

Case 5: In an arcade on a What's In Your Box: "Sorry but I am going to have to ask you to leave...because you know the program!"

Case 6: In an arcade on a Jackpot King: "Why are you playing this? What are you playing it for? Oh I see, you are playing for the cashpot because it keeps going up!" When did pots ever go down during play unless won? That was a well known London player 'confronting me' the 1st time he saw me on 1... he then pretended to call someone who I bumped into a few months later who hadn't spoken to him in years!

Case 7: In a pub: "Did you just win that?" After I had just got £70 in the bank for a top!

Case 8: In a pub: "You know we're halves on that, don't you mate!?"

Case 9: In a pub: "I'll have 3 pints, cheers." After collecting a payout.

Case 10: In the bookies: "Give me a 10er boss, I helped you win and I lost today!" From the annoying prick you never said a word to or listened to while he was watching, uninvited!

Feel free to add yours.

Case 11: This has happened several times in the last couple of years: "my mate plays these for a living mate. You know a machine called Pie Factory? You can get 2 £70 Jackpots on that."

'' he must have a magnet '' lol

Case 13: "He must have one of them keys off the internet that empty the machine!"

'' thats my holiday fund your taking ''


i made 20 quid on it you twat ,,,,,,,, if thats gonna stop you going on holiday then you have bigger problems than me

Might have been 1 of those cheap holidays in The Sun? I had a barman say the exact same thing and he said it to my mate too - in a back street pub in Brentford!!!

Lee I once won £1.60 on the Hyper Vyper in The Bull Inn on the way to Hunningham to play the Hi Rise (old £4.80 barcrest, this was set to £3 cash though). The landlord was friendly but came out with the old holiday fund chestnut. I told him I had made 80p and couldn't even get a bus to Coventry for that. He walked away unimpressed, but I later realised that you could get a bus to Coventry for 80p if you asked for the super off peak day traveller saver tickermaster pro Stagecoach express gold discount travel card on boarding.
Does anyone remember on High Rise how it could drop in one off a win then the reels would shudder and bring the win in? I'm sure it could. It never did it on the emulator though. Neither The Bull Inn or the Red Lion have such common mostrositys inside their permises nowadays, sign of the times.

I was looking at your cases ROTW and in order of annoyance, number 1! I mean it's not even said sarcastically most of the time. You just look at the offender aghast and think 'how can you be so bloody thick?'
For case 8 (no 2 in the annoyance charts) you can inform them that it's raining because they have been singing. Both comments are about as original and funny as each other. Case 10 is close on the heels in at no 3. Those looky looky bet on red 17...no wait black 5 are about as helpful and welcome to you as an iceblock in a chocolate fireguard.

I've also had some divvy ask me about Lucky 8 betting patterns and they did come up with the old "but you can't win". Surprised they noticed. Most roulette muppets cover about 75%+ of the board, still oblivious to the house edge.



Can I think of a case of my own?

Yeah case 14: You're in an arcade, minding your own business, pretending to lose and they're really hospitable. Cup of tea love? Biscuit?

SUDDENLY YOU WIN THE JACKPOT and they all stand around you and bellow...."IIIII haveeen't seen yooooOOOOOOUUUUUU in here beFORE!!!"

When they laid out a plate of biscuits a few years ago in arcades. "do you want one ?" said halfheartedly. Of course, after they had been left uncovered all day and when it was almost compulsory for every punter to chain smoke.

Yes I was forever getting my bourbons mixed up with my custard creams. Even Rob used to complain that the pink wafers weren't as pink as they should be!

"You've got Deal Or No Deal open mate take it!!!"

(When on a 1 or 12 and press Start because Hi / Lo would give no benefit to your play) : "You should have gone higher / lower there mate!"

"It can't be far off now mate" (Because they've seen you put a few quid in)

"Are you playing for Jackpot mate?"

"We know who to mug now!" (When someone spots a big bank or sees / hears a large amount of coins. This comment is becoming a bit too regular for my liking at the moment LOL)

Its not gonna pay, the collectors been!

On a Rainbow Riches POG - 3 leps, lights on the 777 cabinet go red (as they do on any feature):

".. LOOK! LOOK!! Its gone red so it's the guaranteed £500 feature.."

<feature stops on £15>

What i keep gettin " So what pub ya going to next " mind ya own buisness