Fruit Machine Chat

Hello all,

The Chief was talking about what it takes for a fruit machine player to reach the top of his trade in the UK. His rise to the top in the fruit machine security coincided with my demand for a top security/surveillance package but of course The Chief did possess most of the core skills needed to be successful. My needs and demands brought out the very best in him and I took him to the very top.

He was wandering why the very top players are based in the South of England. Does this geographical observation have any reasoning or are Southerners just sharper tools in terms of fruit playing? The Chief says he thinks 95% (95% of non-linesman tricks) of tricks are worked out in the south and then are filtered out to other parts of the UK. I have no idea about the echelons of ranks regarding fruit players so I do not mean to be disrespectful to fruit players who are not based in London or further south.

Regards, Sir Linesman

the best fruit machine player in the united kingdom is me.

you could not be more accurate sir linesman,
the best tricks come from london,
southend players used to get tricks early,
brighton players too,
even blackpool players were on the ball.
alot of the top players around the country have moved on.
i can honestly say that i'm still here & i'm still a top player.
tricks, methods & emptiers is on my profile.
if there were more top players around then i would have to step up with my competition.

Roy from Bungay, may disagree with you there.

I thought the top Blackpool boys use to sit in coral island all day fighting over the battle axe before they all got slowly banned? Eventually havin to move on to Mr B's?

warm regards from the BFK, aka JG, signing off from his Batphone.

Personally I think I'm the 'top boy' in the south!

I'm the worst player

if there are any top boys from the north then can you come forward & say why do you think that your a top boy & you can even mention the amount of hours you do, the money you make or the tricks that you have worked out.

I don't really care who's good who's bad, who has a roulette fetish, who has a pie fetish, who has a baby oil fetish, who has a fetish for people half their age, who has strawberry fetish, who has an action figure fetish, who has a machine y fetish, who worked our p1/p2/p3/p4 aliens, who is rich, who is poor, who's 6ft 10, who's hard, who's soft, who sits up wanking over babe station till 5am, who dropped out of uni, who's a cunt, who isn't a cunt.

All that matters is that we r all happy in our sad little existence of flashing lights in wooden cabinets.

Well said BFK! Its only redlinesman that seems so hung up about how good a player everyone is and trying to big himself up with various tales, eurovision is down there in his boat too!

Rather sad if you ask me, are you both lacking in other departments ;-)

I thought this post would have more impact and gravitas, posted from my 'OB' account, rather than my standard JG account.

Good posts haha.

BFK wrote:I don't really care who's good who's bad, who has a roulette fetish, who has a pie fetish, who has a baby oil fetish, who has a fetish for people half their age, who has strawberry fetish, who has an action figure fetish, who has a machine x fetish, who worked our p1/p2/p3/p4 aliens, who is rich, who is poor, who's 6ft 10, who's hard, who's soft, who sits up wanking over babe station till 5am, who dropped out of uni, who's a cunt, who isn't a cunt.

All that matters is that we r all happy in our sad little existence of flashing lights in wooden cabinets.

top answer

providing for yourself and your family , keeping them content , happy , safe and fed is everything .


the variables and criteria that make up a good player are vast ,,,,,,,,,,, so ''the best player'' status is forever evolving and unobtainable .


you may be a lightning ninja at skill ,,,,,,,,, yet have discipline issues that keep you permanently skint.

you may have good foresight and decoding skills ,,,,,,,, but lack the application and organisation to maximise on it .

etc etc


''best player'' = unobtainable


ive been at this longer than most of you ,,,,,, i know my strenths n weaknesses ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, i consider myself a pro player simply because i make a living soley from fruit machine income , and have done so consistently for over 20 years , not because i have any delusions of grandeur that im better than anyone else, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, my skills are decent but other attributes are decidedly below par ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, so i consider myself middle of the road at best ,,,,,,,, but as long as i make a living ,,,,,, im happy



Anybody who considers themselves '' britain's best player'' ,,,,,,,,, is a complete and utter misguided twat

Well somebody must be the best??

I would say a very high ranking player is northern and young also

The biggest tea leaf was a southerner

Names?