Fruit Machine Chat

my mate was once asked what comes after O levels & he said "a grape"

What? I'm lost mate or am I just stupid

I played an electro yesterday and got icons.

I also got a natural gatw in a service station not long ago.

I'll repost my jokes I did earlier

Why did the player throw up on Tower Bridge?
It was a Sick Raise

Why do flame grilled burgers confuse players?
Because they look burnt but they might have lines in them

Why did the player put his key into an empty glass?
He wanted a refill

Why do players look for holes in their clothes?
To check for any new rips

Why did the player decide not to close the zoo?
There were still lions in it

Why did the player pour water over the fruit machine?
Because he wanted to rinse it

Why do Sceptre buy machines at McDonalds?
Because they get asked "Do you want chips with that?"

Why do players like getting stuck at traffic lights?
Because they must be redding

Why did the bad player break a half-expensive vase?
So he could say he had dropped something worth £70

Why do players hate bees?
Because they're always buzzing, then you get stung and they go dead.


And Bully's special bad county-ist joke...
Suffolk player barred from 5 pubs. Norfolk player barred from 8 pubs. What do they have in common?

They can probably still count their barrings one hand.

Couple of lads in an arcade.

They start on Round the bend, then onto happy campers, then doctors and nurses. His mate said. 'This is going from 1 extreme to the next!'

Wait till u bump into Islamic 'extremeists'

A guy walks into a bar and buys a pint.
A bowl of peanuts at the bar start to tell him how good looking he is and how much they think he will get the ladies tonight.
Confused he walks over to the fruit machine to have a few games.
The fruit machine tells him it fucked his mother last nite and that she was shit.
Even more confused he walks back to the bar and asks the barman what the fuck is going on.
The barman says"well the nuts are complimentary and the fruit machine is just out of order"

I hate playing fruit machines in gay bars...

Nudge, nudge, wink, wink.

What does john32 sleep in?

A four posterer bed

why did the man fall off his bike.........because someone threw a fridge at him

Let it load then dodge the fridges or get twatted by one and die


http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/456397

Did you hear about the player who threw a fried breakfast ingredient, south african porridge and stringed instruments at a Perfect Deal?
Locals said the machine was egged, papped and banjo'd.

Never buy a car off an ex fruit machine scammer.
Every time I try and lock the thing when I go to the pub, the fruit machine inside dumps its hopper.