Fruit Machine Chat

Whether its a playable, a semi playable or just a random punt. I just never seem to get a fuckin ounce of luck.

I use to laugh it off and joke about it but now it's getting to me.

I've given up today and am now hitting the beer after a ridiculous stitch up on a bank job(semi playable), only £80 in for flash. Flat. Obv still there, mid game offered nothing, next board DR albeit normal, so I ploughed on trying to prize it in before thinking of re-wrap. Couldn't get it. That back, plus £60 again for it to be 'there' flat again!! Seemed a bit dead after but what seemed an unnecessary loss of £70-£80 got to me so I ploughed on. That back plus £40 for flash and yet another flat. I mean people say they only get that a few times a year but not me I get it in one day. By now I'm steaming. Middle game next board left with BJ and fuck all, now surely it will? No, not this time either. I mean fuck sake. End result, fuck knows how much in, £140 and still boards for £25 after board on middle. But I mean FFS.

Risk a LTD next and fuck me it's there off a score, I'm thinking revenge on BJ. But nope, monster play up, 4 and 3's for a 2 about 10 times on the bounce. End result, out on both but still about a score down. I know it's nothing but u feel the worlds is against you.

I couldn't handle any more so I'm now getting smashed.

After a week of non stop bad luck on just everything it's just done me in.

Redlinesman will be along in a minute to say how he expected to make at least £3000 today on a trick no-one else has got, but he could only manage to claw in £2200 because one unit had been re-sited and the pub with another in had burned down overnight.
Then later he sits down at some eaterie or other for a 'quick snack' with his entourage and guess what? They've only over-cooked his Chateaubriand! And then instead of the usual Cabernet Sauvignon to go with it they bring out a white wine! I mean for fuck's sake - could the day get any worse? Then to top it all off he has to drive his own Bentley home because his driver has a funny turn walking across the car-park at South Mimms services.

Good for him, I'm settling down for the night now with me lager top and dub vodka coke chasers.

Deal or no deal is on in the pub.

The endless bullshit in between opening the boxes is getting to me. Stop talking and just open the fuckin box for god sake.

£50 in cops n robbers for a level 4. What a result!! God I'm so lucky!!

Large portion of scampi and whitebait.

Mmmmmmmm!!

Ha ha!! £100k gone!! Please brain out!!

Now the £250k, welcome to my world!!!

I knew there was Michael on that box he opened!! Know ur boxes old man!!

Can't watch deal no more, the novelty has worn off, add to that how annoying Edmonds is with his impressions of the bankers voice, no more.

You've got to have a hard luck story to get on the show.

Apply for it BFK!

He's got £15k or a penny........ £2k offered and the c**t deals.

I think I'm gonna apply. Then you can all see just how bad things can get.

I'll be reaching for the cash or bust plunger after the first round no doubt!!

Be great to get on there, think of all the phrases you could churn out!!

Had a penny in his box.

luck comes n goes for all of us m8 ,,,,,, chin up bud



























































think back to all those icon boards you had

Ok I'm on a rant now.

iPhone IMessage......

Why fuckin release something that simply just doesn't fuckin work.

10 mins later........

Sent as text...

Aaaaarrrrgggghhhhhhhh!!

Nother large one please.

Yes tray I had my fair share of boards of the iconic variety!!

Well I did in the first 3 months after release, but then 1 maybe 2 a year.

Its a shame you don't have lady luck on your side mate, it deffo helps. My mate is the luckiest person ever. He will be balls deep and in a situation that even money back looks to much to ask for. He then will scrape out a raise. Any normal person couldn't do it I tell ya.

Anyway chin up!

I'm waiting for a post on a day you have gold fingers. Them days don't come around often but they are nice when they do.

Whereas I....


...Nah JG will moan... lol