Fruit Machine Chat

Last night I was bored of internet gambling, bored of life itself and wanted to do a bit of "work" and have a bit of a night out...

So off I went to my, yes MY, bowling alley to do the ESB and Lone Ranger and have a little dabble on the Deals...usually makes me 100-200...

I took a cab because I'm not current wasting money on "car tax", took the cab driver's mobile number and he said he'd be over to pick me up within 10 minutes if I called him. Agreed.

ESB dead, Deals all had wins/boards in view. Lone Ranger on £1 stake with 50p credit left in it had just paid £70 (it said so on the screen), I spun the 50p off in 2 25p spins and it shows. Take it on, £5 loss! Every other machine Stone Cold Steve Austined! This was my night out? Ah, let's have a little dabble on the randoms... oh Rainbow Riches pots were £500, £170 and £59... Stick my coins in from the Lone Ranger (about £70 odd) all in 1 go and "off we go"..

£16 spent, in roll the POTS! "Come on, sort me out!" I say... fucking Bronze! £60. Continue playing, its playing ok gets me up to £210 but I wanted that GOLD POT! Needless to say that money gets swallowed pretty quick, I'm considering what to do, reach into my pocket for some notes... £15 credit left... POTS! £500!!! I keep going for a bit, suddenly there are 3 rather drunk girls around me - the 1 standing beside me is rather sexy and its her birthday. Her and her friends are no in a state of utter disbelief that I will soon be extracting 500 £1 coins from this machine, imagine 3 drunken parrots nagging away "TAKE IT! TAKE IT! TAKE THE MONEY! TAKE IT!!!" FUCKS SAKE YOU ANNOYING CUNTS! I continue it goes to £540 I continue... take out £502 and put the £2 back in. I'm now told I should give half my winnings to this girl because its her birthday and her "wife" will give me a BJ in the toilets if I do!!! I found that rather disturbing, questioned the wife thing and just got some drunken shit in return, fuck knows what these girls were doing but as it had gone past midnight I said "Well its not your birthday anymore so maybe next year, eh?" Called the cab driver so I was in a rush to get the coins changed up, no point chasing any more wins.. Changed up my coins... I told this old geezer who's usually a pleasant sort of admiring shark that this game would probably keep paying out and it'd drop some pots in pretty sharpish (my experience with these "randoms" is that when all pots are low after a £500 it'll keep dropping them in)... the fool doesn't play it! Some african woman puts £4 in and gets Silver Pots £180 odd and rushes over to tell me (like I care), a few minutes later its given her Gold! Her £4 has got her £420 which she takes out and the machine is banked. So for the sake of having a "round" £500 I've missed out on £416! Ah who cares I say to myself, I didn't come here to play randoms, I'd never have dreamed of this profit so be happy

Cab arrives, I tell him to take me home, I drop off my original stake and tell him to take me to West End to a casino with my profits... he said he'd pick me up from there too so I paid him in advance for the pick up so I could do my bollocks in peace (or maybe win)...

I play blackjack online a lot, haven't played live in a casino for ages. Didn't win. Won't go into why but if I'd had the same cards online I would have.

What was the point of the evening? Did I have my free chance to win a load of money and blow it? What would you have done differently?

took the suck

anfield road wrote:took the suck

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=STvnJHjyhvo

er... relevance?

Master of Games wrote:er... relevance?

You should have been £920 up anddoing what I show you in that clip too!! Thats the relevance!

anfield road wrote:took the suck

Good call that's what I would have done to

half the winnings for a suck is pretty dear!!

id have took the money out at £500... and pretty much what you did, apart from them girls would have been in the cab and the casino

you wouldnt have won that other 400 odd.. you wouldnt have hit the same number on the rng unless you pressed it at exactly the same time as she had.

azefc wrote:half the winnings for a suck is pretty dear!!

Good first post kid...Too true could of had 10 4 that ...

I've never paid for anything sex related (apart from the odd saucy mag and if you want to get really technical, lingerie for the ladies which is hardly paying for sex)...drunks don't really turn me on but if this girl was sober she'd have definitely been worthy of a trip to anywhere she wanted. Her mates weren't up to much and what would I do with them??? The "birthday girl" was 24, sure she was a bit of all right in the sack, and had a lovely sexy face which always helps...

I absolutely DO NOT believe that I wouldn't have won that money if I'd spun off the extra £4, although I can't physically prove I would have. If there were any justice in the world, me, the old shark or the birthday girl would have won the addition £420 not the african witch.

I think I should have at least taken that lovely sexy drunk's number. Silly me.

Heathrow bowl!

master of games,
you really are starting to look like john32!

He must be very good looking then.

The term "wife" seems to be cropping up more and more on facebook e,t,c

Basically her best mate.

Damn! I thought she meant she's a lesbo or bi-sexual!