Incredibly rough pubs - held needed
Posted: Sat Sep 25, 2010 10:01 pm
I have the following machines to play tomorrow.
This is on the route and basically takes me around Houv, Bedworth, Nuneaton, Exhall, Chelmsley Wood, Castle Brom, Erdington, Lozells down to one in the middle of nowhere (not that bad - just cliquey) and back over to Holbrooks.
Cluedo *2 (inc clone)
Hall of Fame *2
Can U Dig it *3 (inc clone)
Star Wars NH *2 (inc clones)
Invincible £35 *1
Happy Campers £35 *2 (not town centre one)
DonD Wiyb £35(p3) *1 and £25(!) *1 (may not play this one as reels out of sync)
Honey Money u/c *1
Cash up £15 *1 (old ACE/Jape like a p3 Caesers, not the 'orrible p7)
Getting Ziggy With it (£5) u/c *1
Double DonD *12 (ok joking)
Pink Panther £35 *1
Indy Ark £35*1 £70*1 (nice chip)
Dead Man's Treasure*4 (and clones)
Juice *1(*3)
The Amazing u/c *3
Finish off at a Bootylicious in an Ember Inns to wind down and chill out (if still alive)
Now there are 30 hits and when I do this route, you have a seriously good chance of hitting the K with ease. It's an all dayer and I mean serious full doors to doors all dayer and then some. I'm not suggesting we play all of these but let me describe the average pub, bar the Ember Inns and about four of them which are okish.
They are all full of angrily intoxicated hardcore BNP crack heads with 40" biceps and a roid rage affliction. They all carry 6"+ blades and have an average of 1.45 Staffordshire Blue Bull terriers tied around things in the pub. In case you haven't heard of the Staffy Blue, it is about twice as large as a standard Staffy and about fifty million times more aggressive. It is the killer bee canine equivalent. They will start on you for nothing, just like their owners.
You never park in the pub car park because 100% guarantee if you're not regular you will get all your windows done, tyres slashed and everything nicked from your car, quite often the chassis even, which they sell for scrap or use to meltdown and make very sharp weapons or drinks.
Any females in there will have a similar physical form to the males, except they could crush your ribs in between their tits and they all carry firearms. They are slightly less hairy than the males, but only just.
Communication is not done by words, it's done by manly bellows, aggressive stares and violence, ie one stab for no and two stabs for NO and multiple stabs for 'you've crossed the line there mate'.
The landlords are all at least 7' tall and posess double barrelled shotguns. Anyone ordering soft drinks will be murdered instantly. The softest drink in there is a Smith Bolter and Black which is a 3 to 1 to five to 6:2 mix of 12% export strength bollock ale, firewater, half a litre of Absinthe to each ml of oxygen and ten tons of explosive.
The doors are all made out of 12" thick toughened steel and can be remotely locked. You could jump out the windows if there were any, but they are full of concrete.
If the management are feeling generous, they will pop you in the body bag themselves to save time.
Anyone winning anything on the fruit machine or pressing the nudge shuffle button on their way in before ordering half a coke will be blown up with high powered explosives.
Anyhow, I thought I'd get that route done tomorrow, but I would like some back up. Anyone up for it? I'll drive if you want, but I'll be leaving my car on my driveway as it's the safest place for it. Any takers?
Lee? Sir Ratholer? Anyone? Silent G?
It's not that I'm scared, it's just nice to have someone to chat with, you know, have a bit of a chin wag when you're being glassed from all angles.
Anyone?
This is on the route and basically takes me around Houv, Bedworth, Nuneaton, Exhall, Chelmsley Wood, Castle Brom, Erdington, Lozells down to one in the middle of nowhere (not that bad - just cliquey) and back over to Holbrooks.
Cluedo *2 (inc clone)
Hall of Fame *2
Can U Dig it *3 (inc clone)
Star Wars NH *2 (inc clones)
Invincible £35 *1
Happy Campers £35 *2 (not town centre one)
DonD Wiyb £35(p3) *1 and £25(!) *1 (may not play this one as reels out of sync)
Honey Money u/c *1
Cash up £15 *1 (old ACE/Jape like a p3 Caesers, not the 'orrible p7)
Getting Ziggy With it (£5) u/c *1
Double DonD *12 (ok joking)
Pink Panther £35 *1
Indy Ark £35*1 £70*1 (nice chip)
Dead Man's Treasure*4 (and clones)
Juice *1(*3)
The Amazing u/c *3
Finish off at a Bootylicious in an Ember Inns to wind down and chill out (if still alive)
Now there are 30 hits and when I do this route, you have a seriously good chance of hitting the K with ease. It's an all dayer and I mean serious full doors to doors all dayer and then some. I'm not suggesting we play all of these but let me describe the average pub, bar the Ember Inns and about four of them which are okish.
They are all full of angrily intoxicated hardcore BNP crack heads with 40" biceps and a roid rage affliction. They all carry 6"+ blades and have an average of 1.45 Staffordshire Blue Bull terriers tied around things in the pub. In case you haven't heard of the Staffy Blue, it is about twice as large as a standard Staffy and about fifty million times more aggressive. It is the killer bee canine equivalent. They will start on you for nothing, just like their owners.
You never park in the pub car park because 100% guarantee if you're not regular you will get all your windows done, tyres slashed and everything nicked from your car, quite often the chassis even, which they sell for scrap or use to meltdown and make very sharp weapons or drinks.
Any females in there will have a similar physical form to the males, except they could crush your ribs in between their tits and they all carry firearms. They are slightly less hairy than the males, but only just.
Communication is not done by words, it's done by manly bellows, aggressive stares and violence, ie one stab for no and two stabs for NO and multiple stabs for 'you've crossed the line there mate'.
The landlords are all at least 7' tall and posess double barrelled shotguns. Anyone ordering soft drinks will be murdered instantly. The softest drink in there is a Smith Bolter and Black which is a 3 to 1 to five to 6:2 mix of 12% export strength bollock ale, firewater, half a litre of Absinthe to each ml of oxygen and ten tons of explosive.
The doors are all made out of 12" thick toughened steel and can be remotely locked. You could jump out the windows if there were any, but they are full of concrete.
If the management are feeling generous, they will pop you in the body bag themselves to save time.
Anyone winning anything on the fruit machine or pressing the nudge shuffle button on their way in before ordering half a coke will be blown up with high powered explosives.
Anyhow, I thought I'd get that route done tomorrow, but I would like some back up. Anyone up for it? I'll drive if you want, but I'll be leaving my car on my driveway as it's the safest place for it. Any takers?
Lee? Sir Ratholer? Anyone? Silent G?
It's not that I'm scared, it's just nice to have someone to chat with, you know, have a bit of a chin wag when you're being glassed from all angles.
Anyone?
