Fruit Machine Chat

Iv just been to a pub I go to 2-3 times week, the landlord is a complete nob. And he likes to drop little hints every time I go in there, like stop taking all the money out of the machine and just a lot of sarcastic remarks. It's a rob da bank. But he walked passed tonight, most probaly to see if I was up to something.

The next thing I know he was flat on his face becouse he triped over a step right next to me. He's now fucked his leg up and probaly will never want to talk to me again. .

Some others out there must of seen landlords mug themselves off.

I had one do his rambo impression and follow me out the pub and when i said loudly "whats this prick want?" he walked past and got into his car, not knowing what to do and with his regulars looking out the window wondering why he got in his car he pulled out ahead of us and indicated left which was where we were heading! It was 10 miles before he could turn round to go back to his pub!

i love it when they purposely come over and polish the table closest to you ,

like they think we dont know what their really up to lol



funny when the table in question is already spotless lol

the most recent pub ive been barred from i took out the alien off silly money 3 days in a week and the last time i did it that FAT coot squeezed though the lift up hatch on the bar that couldnt fully open coz stuff on it and stormed towards me saying "take your winnings and leave, your barred" and half way through saying it he smacked his head straight in his temple off the corner of a plasma tv on the wall, he was in crying pain but held it in till i was out of the pub lmfao.

Never actually been barred from a pub for machines, although i have had the shitty remarks etc, even if im playing slowly to kill time and end up down overall, if i was on it over 15 minutes and took money out so i must of won, even if i am 20 or 30 down overall, doesnt happen that often tho as i dont really play much in other places all that often really, apart from the one in my local.

Theres quite a bit of loyalty when it comes to the fruit in there as well, especially the time when another regular drinker in there hopped on after id give up and topped it from like 3 or 4 quid in, and very kindlysorted me out a score straight after which he didnt have to do, so then when it happened the other way round a few month later and i got it off beer change in after he left it i did the same in return.

Landlord is sound as well, doesnt really care who wins or who dont, if im ever on it, chances are he will come over and say summat along the lines of 'hurry up and win a bit clarkey, i've nearly finished my pint here and your gettin em for us both next, but no rush' i dont mind tho, as me him, his missus and sometimes the other barman will get on the cocktails after its quietened right down and nearly time to close, and he always puts his hand in his pocket for us so its only fair really.

Read the thread clarkey and answer the fing question.
You have just posted total piss on this thread.
Get back to the halfwits forum.
God you really are thick as XXXX aint you.

Come on please tell me whats funny about your post ?
You remind me of a fish swiming around a bowl

I will add one or two to this thread.
My mate puting a stool through the reel glass
Barman banging his head is a preety common sight for me,I Still allways laugh like a girl when i see it
And also love seeing people fall off bar stools pissed up.

fruitypie wrote: God you really are thick as XXXX aint you.:

looks like your as thick as

or he is drunk as

damn i shoulda thought of that one!
it woulda saved me photoshopping an extra x onto xxx mints lol.

Sort of works, if you split the word up into two syllables!

Matt Vinyl wrote:

Sort of works, if you split the word up into two syllables!

i likey

silent g wrote:damn i shoulda thought of that one!
it woulda saved me photoshopping an extra x onto xxx mints lol.

You 3 halfwits who post here aint got the brains to thinkof anything other than post trash.
Why you 3 still post here i will never know.

Befor someone reads it wrong.
The 3 halfwits are clarkey,silent piss and streakypiss

fruitypie wrote: You 3 halfwits who post here aint got the brains to thinkof anything other than post trash.
Why you 3 still post here i will never know.

Befor someone reads it wrong.
The 3 halfwits are clarkey,silent piss and streakypiss

Stop embarassing yourself, seriously how old are you ?? 12 ??