First Ban

jeffvickers · Post by **jeffvickers** » Fri Jun 29, 2007 12:26 pm

The most feasible Landlords excuse is "You lads come in and drop the machine for £75 every week, some of my regulars lose their wages within 2 days so they have no money to put behind the bar all week, meaning my beer sales are slow."

gambogaz1 · Post by **gambogaz1** » Fri Jun 29, 2007 12:29 pm

sir ratholer wrote:(surely everyone has heard the 'holiday fund' joke by now from a pub landlord?).

Thats exactly what my local landlady used to say everytime she saw me on it. Now she's gone and had a £5 JP put in

Now it's sod the licence fee i'm off on holiday!

I've thankfully only been banned from 1 pub. Many years ago on a great escape. The strange thing was that i got on with the landlord and always had a chat with him. I'd been going in for months once a week then 1 dat he walked up to me and said you "you winning again" with a smile so i just thought he was having a laugh (Classic case of £30 in for £20 - £50 out but all they here is what you take out!) Anyway went in the week after with some mates (which included the landlord from me local) I'd been on the fruity for about 15 mins and he comes down and says "I told you last week i don't want you coming in here again, i've got you on camera messing with the machine!" The only thing he could of had on me was looking at the reels to find out what was on for nudges.
My mate the landlord stepped in and fought my corner for me but he was having none of it insisting i was doing something illegal so i just necked me drink and walked out.

You could say i've been banned from 2 pubs tho because about 18 months later i'd moved a few miles away and walked into 1 of the local boozers as i'd seen it had got simpsons in through the window. I was in my own little world playing happily when i heard from behind me "I never forget a face you know" turned round and it was him! He'd bloody moved pubs too!. Told me to take me money out the machine, drink me drink then leave and don't come back!

Cardinal Sin · Post by **Cardinal Sin** » Fri Jun 29, 2007 12:33 pm

I've been barred from pubs in 3 different countries (if you include Scotland, England and NI as different countries).

I must just have that sort of face

blackmogu · Post by **blackmogu** » Fri Jun 29, 2007 12:43 pm

Useful tip: Pubs are legally required to let you finish anything that you have purchased in the bar. Don't let them take your drink, and carry on.

sir ratholer · Post by **sir ratholer** » Fri Jun 29, 2007 3:40 pm

One way of annoying landlords when you get barred is to tip your drink upside down really quick on the bar so none of the contents spill out. Then they will have great fun getting that glass off the bar when you walk out!

Another good one is to put a machine (or for maximum annoyance a car) up for sale in the paper with their telephone number! This is especially good if they are a food pub who get a lot of bookings over the phone, this will piss them off no end!

bigv038 · Post by **bigv038** » Fri Jun 29, 2007 6:50 pm

sir ratholer wrote:Another good one is to put a machine (or for maximum annoyance a car) up for sale in the paper with their telephone number! This is especially good if they are a food pub who get a lot of bookings over the phone, this will piss them off no end!

pure evil

love it!

johnjohn · Post by **johnjohn** » Fri Jun 29, 2007 8:23 pm

i remember the days i used to report pub on fire and they had to evacuate it on a friday and sat night

JG · Post by JG » Fri Jun 29, 2007 11:36 pm

I like the upside down beer. Not one to try when drunk. I'd just get wet feet, but then with the weather as it is, I get that anyway.

Errrr......never actually been barred from a pub........for playing the fruit machine. I've been barred from three arcades.

I've had money stolen by Landlords before. In a pub a long time ago with mates and won a fair bit on a Fight Night. It was a local, dodgyish pub and as it clunka clunka, clunk clunkad out he bellowed "You're round!"
Well sure enough when I went up to buy drinks about half an hour later he accepted the coinage for the drinkage and said I was three poundage short. He was only taxing me for £3 the cheeky sod, still it was a cheap round, glad he didn't demand £100 and buy the whole pub a round.

Anyway, I got my own back. I crept back in the midst of the day and sellotaped three pound coins to a brick and hurled it through the window. I'd also put a note on saying "Have another one on me you baldie fat bastard!"
The joke was on me however as I'd omitted to notice they had double glazing, so the brick bounced back on my head, Fred. So I found another brick, sellotaped another £3 and repeated the whole thing. Both bricks together and Crash!! Smash!! Bloop!! I'd just got him two rounds not one. My bad.

Nah just kidding, I followed him home as he didn't live on the premises and found out where he lived. When he was back at the pub I broke into his house and secreted a super tweeter within the confines of an armchair. It was set to continuously play random high frequency noise from a powerful amplifier randomly secreted in a random location in some sort of place or other. In the end he went mad and ate himself in a bid to live in silence.

Nah, it's not all lies, but most of it is....fact is, I barely play in pubs now apart from those machines you can empty (that could be a lie, so don't ask me for the emptier) so we'll see how long it is until I get barred or shot.

Watch this space. The end for now.

Scott · Post by **Scott** » Sat Jun 30, 2007 12:53 am

float like a butterfly sting like a bee, your going down in round 3

Cardinal Sin · Post by **Cardinal Sin** » Sat Jun 30, 2007 10:17 am

He's just thrown the towel in and I can't understand why!

golden_game · Post by **golden_game** » Sun Jul 01, 2007 11:18 am

i was on a p1 Lotta luck many moons ago in the clock in newcastle done it twice. on the third time iwas barred and was told that i was cheating because the jp was only 15 and i had got over 45 from the cash streak, i tried explaingto them but they wouldnt listen.

i think before lamdlords are allowed machines they should go on a course to learn how they work and play.

maverick69 · Post by **maverick69** » Sun Jul 01, 2007 12:27 pm

went to this little village the other week and i put a wuid in king ker ching, first quid it offered tenner on the cash side so i played on and it gave king streak for 35, played on offered a 25 on the cash side then next board good times for 20, then i left it, i made about 65. anyway on leaving i was called back to the bar by a local looked like farmer, 'aye boy how u do that', i always loose on it. just sed years of experience dont hate the player hate the game, and walked out and drove off.

JG · Post by JG » Sun Jul 01, 2007 3:36 pm

Don't hate the player, hate the game. Like it.

Trouble is you have to wonder what the fascination is in wandering down to the local booze hole when the only attraction is some random extracting value from a slot box. What a complete annoyance. Mr Waste 'o space has your card marked.

sir ratholer · Post by **sir ratholer** » Mon Jul 02, 2007 1:32 am

golden_game wrote:
i think before lamdlords are allowed machines they should go on a course to learn how they work and play.

Couldnt agree more...

jeffvickers · Post by **jeffvickers** » Mon Jul 02, 2007 3:09 am

Locals.

Very annoying.

Narrow minds.

Narrow lifes.

The smarter ones operate a MACHINE as their livelihood.

Green =GO.
Red = STOP.

Lame Brains.

Dumbed down society.

Its them scammers.
They've got a magnet.
Scammers have dropped it again.

Sorry Lad. 'machines broke.
Got to get 'bloke out.

They've emptied it again! (£25)

cuntz

Fruit Machine Chat

First Ban

lmao