Is it just me?

Been-Grant-Mitchell'd! · Tue May 04, 2010 9:06 pm

Un-fuckin-believable. Some bloke who looks like a yeti sits opposite me on the train with a bag of cheddars. He fumbles around in the pack for twenty seconds but takes one at a time. He's got the loudest crunch I've EVER heard and sounds like he's "tutting" at the same time. Why is it always me?

I really wanted to shout "JUST EAT THE BLOODY THINGS!"

But he bore an uncanny resemblence to Giant Haystacks.

PMK · Post by **PMK** » Tue May 04, 2010 9:16 pm

Shirley Crabtree was better.

steven · Post by **steven** » Tue May 04, 2010 9:31 pm

Been-Grant-Mitchell'd! wrote:Un-fuckin-believable. Some bloke who looks like a yeti sits opposite me on the train with a bag of cheddars. He fumbles around in the pack for twenty seconds but takes one at a time. He's got the loudest crunch I've EVER heard and sounds like he's "tutting" at the same time. Why is it always me?

its not just you, i always get stuck behind mr/mrs Bean in a supermarket queue or at the bar
:x

Captain.Tattybojangles · Tue May 04, 2010 9:49 pm

Especially annoys me when people have to CRRRRREEEEAAAKKKK!!! those pulldown tables down(the ones on the back of your seat) on Southern services
Also don't like it if me and a couple of mates can't get a nice big table for ourselves because Mr Yeti in BGM's post is taking it up for himself!

JG · Post by JG » Tue May 04, 2010 9:55 pm

That'd be quite nice being stuck behind Mr Bean, I'd like that.

No, no, I always get......,,,,,,,,,..........which?,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,nah let's go............or maybe,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,yeah,,,,,,,,,,,is the new...............but in the absence of,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,then.................prevails, so................

1) The rattling Chav - oh dear, the amphetamine buzz/gluey solvent high is wearing off and we're in a queue in the bank. Common British human decency dictates that you should stand, with your head facing forward and avoid any intrusions into other people's space, other than to moan about the weather, or the number of cashiers serving at lunchtime. He keep twisting around, his gormless eyes scanning the doors, but what for? A sudden police interception? A superior gang of alpha chavs? What?
Well whatever it is, it means you have to do exactly the same to the person behind you to avoid any possible conversation with the cretinous chap.

2) The cougher who is a bit taller than you - oh dear, he's behind you and he has a cough. He's also a little bit taller than you and he isn't covering his mouth when he coughs. His mouth is level with your nose, so imbibe those garlic and Benylin flavoured plentiful Rhinoviral droplets of infective mucus, you have no choice.

Been-Grant-Mitchell'd! · Tue May 04, 2010 10:01 pm

Ah Yes Captain, those bloody things are a right nause.

Almost as bad as the screeming baby that inevitably gets on whatever train I'm on.

I'm looking forward to having the car for the next few days.

trayhop123 · Post by **trayhop123** » Tue May 04, 2010 11:46 pm

went to see iron man 2 the other night .

why is there always an olympic gold medal winning deafening cougher ?

take some covonia or night nurse ffs and fuck off. :P

logopolis · Post by **logopolis** » Wed May 05, 2010 12:50 am

PMK wrote:Shirley Crabtree was better.

Shirley not!!!! They just used to bounce off of him!!

Do you remember Scrubber Daly and Iron Fist Clive Myers?

trayhop123 · Post by **trayhop123** » Wed May 05, 2010 12:25 pm

kendo nagasaki ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, and who was that '' supposedly '' deaf n dumb wrestler ?

betchrider · Post by **betchrider** » Wed May 05, 2010 10:32 pm

Used to work with a bloke who reckoned his uncle was catweazle

Been-Grant-Mitchell'd! · Mon May 10, 2010 3:17 pm

Right, I wait for a bus to take me to my next port of call and I need a 308.

As I wait, a bus arrives - a 101.

Then another - a W13

Then another - a W14

Then comes a 143......a 101.....another W14 & a W13 together.

Eleven buses in all and not a 308. Even though it was meant to arrive at 10, 42 & 56 past the hour.

I know what happened.

Obviously they knew it was me waiting so they deliberately diverted the buses to bypass me.

I walked in the end.

deano8177 · Post by **deano8177** » Mon May 10, 2010 3:35 pm

That's not good, it always happens to me. Iv just come out of a pub where I was waiting for a taxi to take me to a train station. She said it would be 10 min. 30 min later it turns up. Now iv got a 40 min wait to the next train.

Matt Vinyl · Post by **Matt Vinyl** » Mon May 10, 2010 5:03 pm

308? Is that not the twice-daily Sevenoaks / Gravesend bus? By the other buses you've stated there I guess not. Maybe there's two!

harry2 · Post by **harry2** » Mon May 10, 2010 6:29 pm

trayhop123 wrote:kendo nagasaki ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, and who was that '' supposedly '' deaf n dumb wrestler ?

That would be Alan Kirby.

Been-Grant-Mitchell'd! · Mon May 10, 2010 10:31 pm

Matt Vinyl wrote:308? Is that not the twice-daily Sevenoaks / Gravesend bus? By the other buses you've stated there I guess not. Maybe there's two!

No, it must be a different 308.

Either that or this 308 has one seriously big route.

Just one more whinge before I knock off for the day:

I'm in a not-so-friendly pub where they most probably serve knuckle-dusters with a pint and I play a good fruit.

Hold three times for single bars and the third reel loses it's grip and alarms, quite loudly.

"Where's ya zapper?" I hear some pleb shout.

The landlord comes over and I explain what happened to more calls about this bloody "zapper", with a few "dodgy notes!" thrown in there for good measure.

Sometimes it's not a good idea to try to explain about the workings of a machine as they tend to think that if you know what you're on about, then you know the workings of it & ultimately you're fiddling it.

They watch me like hawks but as the fruits off it's nut, I press on and get my wages.

Cue more jeers and comments.

Don't think I'll bother in there again . . .

Fruit Machine Chat

Is it just me?

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