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Banning Banning Banning
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Thread: Banning Banning Banning

  1. #1
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    Banning Banning Banning

    It has been ten years since the iconic banning from the Litten Tree and the release of the single 'Stop banning me' recorded by Istenem and featuring Cool. Perhaps it is time for us to work on another project and secure an album deal , as to celebrate the anniversary I have just been barred from another pub in the vicinity which is no mean feat due to the dwindling number of pubs with SWP's and the fact that the machines that do exist tend to be very tight.
    I had built up my winnings to 21 when the publican suggested 'make that your last game'. When I said why he said if you dont take the money out the machine will be switched off and you will lose your money. Then just said you are barred about twenty times in a row Mrs Doyle stylie.

    There is a interesting side story to this. Advised by area manager to contact the pub directly to sort it out as the pub is leased. Suspect I will just get you are barred barked down the phone to me! If I dont get anywhere hopefully media involvement and another stunning photo of me will appear in the press. Pub name will only be revealed if it goes into print.

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    Amazingly just been playing a machine and noticed a riposte from a long time contributor to the site, a Mr Nil Satis who as an option recorded 'stop your moaning!' Evidently he is Frankee to my Eammon (as in Fuck you / FURB). Duet in the pipeline?

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    How much were you planning to win out of interest?

    In Spoons it's never a problem due to the large number of ASBO population present in those pubs so someone winning a few quid isn't an issue. Sometimes I don't even get a drink lol...tut tut.

    I do get an uneasy feeling when I walk into a small pub with the machine right next to the bar....usually from the looks when I walk in of you're not a regular here....and then looks of disgust when I order a coke and walk straight to the machine.

    Usual tactic then is to keep collecting every 5 quid or so if it's a gamesnet and get out around 15 quid...or if it's a paragon just try and get one big win on PMP...and get out without looking at any of the pub regulars.

    Time helps aswell...if you're on it for an hour of course you'll attract suspicion.

    Last time I had a direct confrontation with a landlord was in a pub in Lancaster...helps if the staff are young and don't want confrontation so will just let you win without question.

    Of course I'll miss it all when they're extinct in a few years time.

  4. #4
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    Yes I had been there a long time but had two drinks and had put around a tenner in. The ironic thing is the pub in question runs a very successful quiz night and is listed Quiz Britain. The reason the dodgy landlords have a tendency not to give a reason for the ban isn't because they don't have to but they know morally they are wrong and that we through our generally greater intellect and reasoning will enable them to hang themselves from their own petard. In one pub I was ejected from a seasoned local who very vociferously defended me was threatened with expulsion himself. They would like to think that if they could win they wouldn't be treated like myself. The old one the machine is there for the locals is rubbish as I have overwhelming support from the locals, it's just the greed of the odd landlord gets the better of him.

  5. #5
    Senior Member Nil Satis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cool View Post
    Amazingly just been playing a machine and noticed a riposte from a long time contributor to the site, a Mr Nil Satis who as an option recorded 'stop your moaning!' Evidently he is Frankee to my Eammon (as in Fuck you / FURB). Duet in the pipeline?
    For once I am stumped as to what you are talking about. There aren't any games on which it is possible to leave a user name of that length - the most is Word Soup where you can use up to 10 characters. Bizarrely there was a time when lots of snide messages aimed at me were left on Word Soup leaderboards across a wide geographical area but I always made sure I only responded with peace and love after (usually) topping those scores - I am by no means in the higher echelons on that game but you don't need to be to end up at or near the top in most locations (and to be fair I suspect most/all of the really top players on the game are no longer playing anyway, having found something more worthwhile to do with their time as the machines have disappeared).

    What I suspect you might mean is that there are several questions originating from somewhere in GWHL that appear in their various games in which I am an answer, along with a few of the other regular names on here (including yourself, as you mention in your original post). I have always found those questions amusing, and now as the years have gone on and virtually everything I have "moaned" about on here has come true and the business is on its last legs, I do occasionally wonder what might have happened if the games and machine companies had actually bothered to take any notice of what the serious players on here were telling them, instead of worrying about how to stop us winning.

    Sadly that battle is long since lost and the result is a market that is at maybe 20% of its peak in terms of machine availability, certainly in all the locations I know well, and only going in one direction from here and that's downwards. One example to illustrate this - last weekend I visited a town not far from me that this time last year had eight Paragons, along with various other bits and pieces. Of the eight Paragons, four had disappeared and of the remaining four, three were switched off or out of order and the last one wouldn't accept any coins until it had been rebooted by my good self. No doubt the four that had gone had either given the pubs concerned sufficient hassle in terms of not working, or had not taken enough money, or both (and the two issues are of course interlinked) in that year and I wouldn't be at all surprised if some or all of the remaining ones have gone on my next trip. Somehow though it will all still be OUR fault of course... ;-)

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    Yes it's was the GW questions I'm referring to. It would be interesting what the Quiz Britain sites take on being shown the door for winning both on quiz machines and / or pub quizzes. There was a group of guys from St Albans who were banned from a pub for winning the pub quiz too often and the group said the landlord said they didn't suit the right age profile (nothing to do then with their mental capabilities, Yeh right). Kevin Ashman when he was working initially in London played the quiz machines until he realised that the potential threat of a bashing was going to be bad for his health and so did Mark Labatts although I would like to have seen him being physically removed from a pub, it would have taken a crane or two or the lure of a kebab to get him out .
    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england...herts-35820766
    Last edited by cool; 01-10-2016 at 07:13 AM. Reason: improve post

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    Funnily enough I was in a seafront Arcade yesterday and straight off won PMP tenner. Hadn't realised a bloke who worked there was clocking me over my shoulder. When I won he said "Have you've won there?" and looked annoyed. So I ignored him as I normally do with my headphones in. Then he said it again and I remembered my headphones weren't actually in my ears! So I just went 'Yeah', lost on BTL and took the tenner out.
    Thankfully no more action ensued though I'd be surprised if it was still there next month.
    As I walked away I thought over loads of fun retorts I could have said to the miserable git from "So what?" to "Are you upset I've won? Would you rather I'd lost?" or "Am I supposed to lose?" or "You should put a sign on the machine warning people that you don't want anyone to win" that kind of thing. Ah well. Just seems stupid to me that it's such a small amount of money. Suppose in his tiny mind he thinks I could just do it over and over again straight away.

  8. #8
    Senior Member bubbles's Avatar
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    amazing the grief you lot have to endure for small amounts, even if it is risk free. try playing machines on which it is routine to put 200+ in (not impossible 500) for multiple 100 jackpots that you have to play "differently" to the locals! sometimes you don't want a jackpot to repeat when a group of smackheads have all done their dole money in it and suddenly appear after you are already involved in the machine!
    Going skint....

  9. #9
    Senior Member bubbles's Avatar
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    i guess buying a pint (that you pour away) eats too much into your profit, so may as well make it a lime and soda as a coke can cost more than a cheap pint in some holes
    Going skint....

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    Quote Originally Posted by paragoon View Post
    Funnily enough I was in a seafront Arcade yesterday and straight off won PMP tenner. Hadn't realised a bloke who worked there was clocking me over my shoulder. When I won he said "Have you've won there?" and looked annoyed. So I ignored him as I normally do with my headphones in. Then he said it again and I remembered my headphones weren't actually in my ears! So I just went 'Yeah', lost on BTL and took the tenner out.
    Thankfully no more action ensued though I'd be surprised if it was still there next month.
    As I walked away I thought over loads of fun retorts I could have said to the miserable git from "So what?" to "Are you upset I've won? Would you rather I'd lost?" or "Am I supposed to lose?" or "You should put a sign on the machine warning people that you don't want anyone to win" that kind of thing. Ah well. Just seems stupid to me that it's such a small amount of money. Suppose in his tiny mind he thinks I could just do it over and over again straight away.
    More amazed you actually found a Paragon in one of those arcades...so often I've been to Blackpool or Skeggy....seen about a million arcades with a million fruities and thought there's got to be a Paragon hiding somewhere in the corner...be interested to know where that was!

  11. #11
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    I have managed to find a small provincial newspaper though that is exactly what sort of newspaper that you want in this situation interested. Once its in concrete and there is pen to paper will confirm locality. Hopefully it will be worth waiting for!

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    As it seems neither newspaper has published , this is the gist of it with (obvious duplication with my original post). The phone number and name of the landlord is freely obtainable from the net so he can hardly complain.

    Sent to Bournemouth Echo and Lymington Times

    Hello
    My name is Paul Johnson
    Im wondering if you are interested in my story. I was featured by your newspaper in 2006 after being banned from the pub formerly known as the Litten Tree (see below)
    http://www.dorsetecho.co.uk/news/541...w_too_much___/
    Over the last few years the popularity of quiz machines has waned so that there are fewer machines to play and those that are left prove very hard to extract money from so it was a total shock to be barred from a local pub The Wheatsheaf Christchurch Road New Milton BH25 6QJ for winning a small sum after monies put in were deducted.
    (OWNER OF BUSINESS JOHN BELL 01425 611082)
    The scene unfolded in a way similar to the Litten Tree. The publican approached and asked me to make 'it my last game' . I asked why. He responded by saying 'if you dont stop playing the machine and take your winnings I will switch the machine off and you will lose your money' . I asked why. He responded by saying youre barred and any subsequent question I asked was met by a perfunctory 'youre barred' in a style reminiscent of Mrs Doyle in Father Ted 'Go on , go on , go on etc). To put it bluntly this made me angry and I let off a number of expletives before leaving the pub. Please note I hadnt bothered anybody until the landlord took it upon himself to ban me without a reason (it is standard practice for the unscrupulous landlords to trot out 'I dont have to give a reason ' as if this is alright then). There were a few locals at the bar who when offered a few free pints might give an unfavourable slant towards my story though they seemed a amiable bunch who I hope would give an honest account if approached.In fact one had just said how unfair its for landlords to bar for winning before it all kicked off.
    The irony is is that the pub runs a successful weekly pub quiz and on 11th May this year a quiz was hosted by CJ the Egghead that raised 1500 for local charities , so it seems a suitable headline to run would be similar to The Wheatsheaf bans an egghead from its premises and it wasn't CJ!
    It will be interesting to see what the manager John Bell comes up with as this time he will not be protected by the media department of a national pub company. He leases the site from Marstons with whom I have absolutely no problem with and the area manager for the company confirmed he was unable to intervene in the situation.
    Its also a great shame as I have informed one particular machine company of a flaw in the past that caused the hopper to totally dump its contents without anybody having to win anything , game providers of flaws in their games that would cause game crashes and I am currently being helped by a senior employee of the actual machine provider to the Wheatsheaf for a major refund.
    The only other establishment I am currently banned from is Portsmouth Uiniversity Students Union , how ironic is that?!

  13. #13
    Senior Member bubbles's Avatar
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    lol i hope you get a nationwide pubwatch ban!

    you are causing your mental health no good even giving this shit a second thought.
    Going skint....

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    Wig and glasses? Don't get mad get even.
    JG

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    Also which of these is the greatest capacity? 382 Astorias, 2 Wembleys, 12 Hammersmith Apollo or 24 Dominion theatres?

    There are lots of skulls and you need one more pearl thing for 6.
    JG

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